Poopoo peepee and Kids: Handful

Handful

By Abeille - 17/03/2011 00:50 - Canada

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 977

You deserved it 3 948

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Same thing different taste

What just happened?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 279

You deserved it 6 173

By IRum - 11/08/2011 08:45 - Russian Federation

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 115

You deserved it 5 480

By bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 3 858

The Bathtub Incident

By Katie - 17/09/2019 12:01 - United States

Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 23:18 - United States

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 722

You deserved it 21 318

Ringing those bells

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 138

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 137

By Eponine13 - 05/06/2019 22:00

Today, I thought it would be fun to climb a tree. My older sister also thought it would be fun to set the tree on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 185

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 9 082

Fresh air

By Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 241

perdix 29

Thursday 17 March 2011 8:20

That's pretty crappy -- your sister's a real little shit. So, what was the brown chunky stuff?

InnocentLies 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 8:20

That stinks.

Comments

krez 20

Thursday 17 March 2011 14:23

Poop FTW! That'll get me through the day.

nwoodle 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 16:24

Slap tha shyt out of her

kykyshay 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 3:19

you probably shouldn't say you like weed on the Internet...

TayonaC 10

Sunday 20 March 2011 4:12

you probably should mind your own business

Hawkcody1958 1

Thursday 17 March 2011 16:31

awwwwwwww shit!!!!!!!!!

CaptainAwesome2 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 22:49

Omg Homer Simpson making out with himself!!!

CaptainAwesome2 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 22:51

DUCKFACEALERTDUCKFACEALERTDUCKFACEALERT

CaptainAwesome2 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 22:55

Btw, I'm not criticising your actual face... Unless your face is permanently stuck in duck face. If that's the case, I'm so sorry.

Tonecapon 0

Friday 18 March 2011 19:02

that's good shit right there

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Friday 18 March 2011 22:32

that's just disgusting

Pinklady1_fml 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 0:52

ewewww haha

sad_emo_foster 0

Friday 1 April 2011 21:06

Wow at least I am not the only one with a small sibling that does stupid shit like that:)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 852

You deserved it 1 042

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

The Top

It just disappears!

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 84

Today, after a year and a half of sticking to my new wife’s “no-sex-before marriage” rule while we dated, she brushed me off while I tried to consummate the marriage. Apparently, she’s not ready to have kids yet and “semen will get the sheets dirty.” Guess I’ll be jerking it on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 767

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 786

You deserved it 3 798

Today, I tried the "hold on tight to your thumbs in your fists" method during a deep throat, which is supposed to prevent you from throwing up. Well, it doesn’t work. I'd eaten ratatouille. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 245

Today, my 16 year-old son has to sue his great uncle and step aunt for theft and extortion of his father's estate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 94

Today, my roommate blamed me after her cat got shocked after chewing through my phone charger cable. The same one my roommate stole to charge her tablet. Yet it's still somehow my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 258

You deserved it 1 413

Handful

Same thing different taste

What just happened?

The Bathtub Incident

Ringing those bells

Nutshot

Fresh air

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