Health: Healing - FML

Healing

By Manatee - 11/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 834

You deserved it 9 832

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 461

You deserved it 2 650

Freak out

By Brooke - 09/08/2009 15:23 - United States

Today, my skin was turning black, and I believed I was reacting to a spider bite. I spent 4 hours waiting in an emergency room in the middle of the night, paid a $100 copay, and missed a night with my boyfriend just to have a doctor wipe dye from my brand new black jeans off with alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 938

You deserved it 57 185

By Sally256 - 03/05/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 656

You deserved it 27 017

Get it off me!

By Katieeee - 04/11/2023 22:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 126

Bailed out

By Why's it so cold in here? - 01/02/2015 18:13 - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 831

You deserved it 2 980

By paytonallyce - 03/10/2016 02:32 - United States - Springfield

Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 867

You deserved it 1 321

By sore - 21/01/2009 01:08 - Australia

Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 669

You deserved it 2 493

Gotta catch 'em all

By Takethefoot - 20/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I now have a plantar wart, chigger bites, and a brown recluse spider bite all in the same foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 87

By Why - 18/12/2018 05:00

Today, I finally went to have blood taken for an allergy test I really need. Afterwards, I had an allergic reaction to the bandaid they used on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 397

You deserved it 155

Overdoing it?

By Toe man - 14/02/2022 03:00 - South Africa - Kimberley

Today, on the third day after I developed what I thought was gout for the first time in my 62 years, it turns out it was just a spider bite on my toe. My wife still thinks I had been drinking on the sly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 108

Next

Top comments

pippysthename00 0

Monday 11 May 2009 20:37

Hahaha, I love this.

mattmag 0

Monday 11 May 2009 20:50

Well, now you know. Stick to the old-school stingy peroxide stuff.

Comments

yetiskibum 9

Sunday 1 February 2015 8:55

I know how you feel. I'm allergic to Neosporin too. It made all of the mosquito bites I had as kid become scars. I use bacitracin instead

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 917

You deserved it 6 564

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 560

You deserved it 2 387

Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 567

You deserved it 5 372

Today, as I was taking care of my mom while my dad was at work, she fell asleep. This would be fine, except she has one of the worst cases of sleep apnea ever recorded. Her snores are so loud, they almost sound like gunshots. I can't leave her alone or block out the sound in case she stops breathing for too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 79

Today, one of my friends came over to go swimming in my pool. Before going back into the house, as it's all carpeted, I automatically took off my trunks, forgetting about my friend. I realized my mistake when my friend commented on my abnormally long foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 1 514

Today, I've been sleeping with my drug dealer from high school who I still buy pot from for the past week. He made me go down on him a few days ago and he smelled funny but I didn't say anything. Today, he told me he only showers 2-3 times a month and he thinks he's a genius for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 223

You deserved it 11 475