Love: Hey you

Hey you

By djteller - 25/04/2009 00:13 - Israel

Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 046

You deserved it 48 740

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Same thing different taste

By DMO - 07/07/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 733

You deserved it 63 931

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 964

You deserved it 40 871

By Anonymous - 17/01/2013 00:53 - United States - Wahiawa

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 648

You deserved it 4 610

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 504

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 989

You deserved it 4 573

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 967

You deserved it 40 499

By Jarryd - 10/02/2012 05:40 - Australia

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 569

You deserved it 7 504

By whoops - 09/07/2014 05:38 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 751

You deserved it 20 162

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

By gymbob - 06/05/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 769

You deserved it 103 421

skyle_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 9:08

I hate people who spit all over the floor. YDI.

CaptainJellyBean 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 9:09

Ah, how inconvenient. I'm sure she was in fact impressed. Imagine how many envelopes you could seal with that amount of saliva!

Comments

LaTuaCantante 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:45

hahahahahaha.lol.if a guy ever did that in front of my,i would probably laugh and end up talking about random stupid stories of stupid things =] lmao

strawberryswirl 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 5:13

Why do guys spit everywhere? It's ******* disgusting.

lizlaz 2

Saturday 30 May 2009 18:38

Ew ew ew ew.... You shouldn't be spitting anyway, it's disgusting, we don't want all your germs. It totally serves you right. YDI.

emasoz 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 7:29

Damn u sure can Impress dubass

KASHMIR_fml 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 7:59

lol "she wasn't impressed" hahaha epic realization

imnotright 0

Monday 30 August 2010 4:11

haha sometimes when I'm running and I spit the wind knocks the drool back to my face

Late_night83 25

Wednesday 1 June 2011 3:15

bwahahahaha

breberry304 27

Monday 4 March 2013 23:54

How does smiling at a girl impress her?

umerin 32

Thursday 19 June 2014 4:41

Why not swallow it?

sureshadow 23

Sunday 22 March 2015 14:44

smoothe

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 151

You deserved it 39 590

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

The Top

Today, I fell and fractured my tailbone. I just healed from my last tailbone fracture 4 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 488

You deserved it 1 389

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 263

You deserved it 6 288

Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 476

You deserved it 56 775

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 036

You deserved it 8 630

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 333

You deserved it 22 271

Today, I spent 12 hours in an airport rather than go back to the apartment of the man I traveled to see for the weekend. Instead of wine, dine, sixty-nine, he took me to a tailgating event and introduced me to two girls he had a threesome with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 067

You deserved it 670

Hey you

Same thing different taste

Hott

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