Health, Pregnancy and Farts: Hilarious

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

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Same thing different taste

Make it stop

By honeybunny - 19/11/2014 19:04 - United States - Norman

Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 083

You deserved it 3 167

By Anonymous - 14/02/2019 16:35 - United States

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 910

You deserved it 7 954

Red flag

By Ceej - 30/07/2011 21:06 - United States

Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 680

You deserved it 6 681

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 365

You deserved it 3 110

Clenched

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 799

You deserved it 3 945

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 118

You deserved it 4 857

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 661

You deserved it 3 036

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 501

Hot air

By SuperSleuth - 07/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 351

Yarrachel 16

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:11

Just throw up on him, that'll teach him.

narkui 10

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:10

Nice husband you got there;)

Comments

perdix 29

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:55

He'll quit after the first shart.

Namesuhate11 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 5:53

Or when she pukes on his butt hole

marilyn2012 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:57

Lol that's kinda funny well the following u part but I wud definetly kick him or something wat a jerk..lol

Clamcreepy 7

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:57

I guess he really wants to blow you away

caitybear32 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:58

When hes sleeping, you just "crack one off" right is his face and see how he likes that

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:04

Don't run to bathroom, puke on him next time Btw, you're married to Peter Griffin?

tennis06 7

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:04

dutch oven?

bubo_fml 10

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:05

Next time he spreads his cheeks to beef, insert a wine cork up his jacksee!

MaceFaceLOL 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:10

Your sick.

japtch 15

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:10

65- You're*

MaceFaceLOL 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:10

An ass.

MaceFaceLOL 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:08

Dump his ass. If he is going to treat you like that in your worst condition then you don't need him.

japtch 15

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:12

Why would she "dump" the man who will be her babies father? Especially for farting.

MaceFaceLOL 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:15

I don't know where you are from but farting on women is generally frowned upon in modern society. And just because he is the kids dad does not mean she is automatically his wife for the rest of there lives.

Krulin 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:34

Lmao are you serious kid? "You know, I think I'd be better off leaving the man I loved enough to marry, and raise my kid in a broken single-parent household barely on the edge of poverty because he farted in my face a few times. That'll show him."