Health, Pregnancy and Farts: Hilarious

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

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Same thing different taste

Make it stop

By honeybunny - 19/11/2014 19:04 - United States - Norman

Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 083

You deserved it 3 167

By Anonymous - 14/02/2019 16:35 - United States

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 910

You deserved it 7 954

Red flag

By Ceej - 30/07/2011 21:06 - United States

Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 680

You deserved it 6 681

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 365

You deserved it 3 110

Clenched

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 799

You deserved it 3 945

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 118

You deserved it 4 857

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 661

You deserved it 3 036

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 501

Hot air

By SuperSleuth - 07/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 351

Yarrachel 16

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:11

Just throw up on him, that'll teach him.

narkui 10

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:10

Nice husband you got there;)

Comments

evilplatypus 38

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:21

You know what's also funny? Kick him in the nuts.

taytaylal 11

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:21

Throw up and make him clean it up.

iwadasn 32

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:42

Wow. Sounds like he's got a lot of growing up to do before he's ready to be a father.

FR05TY 9

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:43

FR05TY does not approve

badcompany2205 1

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:49

Punch him in his testy's...I know I would stop if my jewels were mashed.

marquette10 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:56

Apparently...idk if this is true since I heard it from a friend that's always sarcastic...that if someone farts in your face u get pink eye...

japtch 15

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:14

You, sir, are gullible.

jacquay09 3

Thursday 2 February 2012 6:22

No he isn't, you can get pink eye from exposure to fecal matter in the eye. Farting releases some fecal matter...

DarkRemorse 1

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:03

Throw up on him :)

SoultheWolf 19

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:04

Next time he does it throw up on him, I garentee it will make him stop.

CaptainPickles72 18

Thursday 2 February 2012 3:49

Oh your god! That is such a great idea! Where did you get it? From the dozens of other people who said it before you?

brun12 1

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:18

Wow, your husband sounds like a jackass

Colonel_Lexi 18

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:25

A Falcon Punch to the balls outta set him straight!

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 182

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 534

You deserved it 45 203

The Top

Even if you cut a few branches...

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 144

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 429

You deserved it 2 612

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 880

You deserved it 11 718

Today, my landlord informed me that after 8 months, we are finally getting cable and internet in our house. I move out tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 807

You deserved it 3 807

Today, my own dog bit me quite severely when I was in the middle of teaching a dog obedience class. Everyone had a good laugh at me and in the past few hours 4 of them have contacted me to let me know they won't be attending future lessons and that they'd like to get their money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 477

You deserved it 2 223

Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 411

You deserved it 1 864