Health, Pregnancy and Farts: Hilarious

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

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Same thing different taste

Make it stop

By honeybunny - 19/11/2014 19:04 - United States - Norman

Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 083

You deserved it 3 167

By Anonymous - 14/02/2019 16:35 - United States

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 910

You deserved it 7 954

Red flag

By Ceej - 30/07/2011 21:06 - United States

Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 680

You deserved it 6 681

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 365

You deserved it 3 110

Clenched

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 799

You deserved it 3 945

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 118

You deserved it 4 857

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 661

You deserved it 3 036

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 501

Hot air

By SuperSleuth - 07/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 351

Yarrachel 16

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:11

Just throw up on him, that'll teach him.

narkui 10

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:10

Nice husband you got there;)

Comments

jambajj 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 7:04

It's rip one not crack one duh

xgetxbentx 13

Thursday 2 February 2012 7:37

Talk to your doctor about anti nausea medicine. I can't remember if it's phenagran or zofran that you can take while pregnant, but I know they can give you something.

darbygirl9 1

Thursday 2 February 2012 7:52

Barf on him

nplatinum 4

Thursday 2 February 2012 8:21

Since pregnant women are gassy, let him fall asleep and put his head under the blankets so he wakes up to a Dutch oven! Haha!

06rubiandrea_fml 5

Thursday 2 February 2012 8:42

Congratulations! You are married to an asshole and you allowed him to reproduce...Well done OP!

mrssuarez2011 12

Thursday 2 February 2012 10:35

.......and you want him to be the father of your child?

Ugi 26

Thursday 2 February 2012 11:03

This is highly unpleasant and I feel for you very much. I confess, however, that I can't help finding it damned funny! FYL and I hope he didn't persist for too long. You always have the nuclear option of threatening to throw up on him - but you can't bluff so only threaten it if you will actually go through with it!

takenover 15

Thursday 2 February 2012 11:23

And some day (hopefully soon) you can have some fun time paying him back for farting in your face.

marisadc79 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 11:29

Wow way to be supportive during the pregnancy. Undo stress and upset isn't good for a fetus. Maybe he needs to grow up and stop being a kid before his arrives.