Intimacy: Hot stuff - FML

Hot stuff

By anonymous - 07/06/2009 06:18 - Korea Republic of

Spicy

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked, and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 455

You deserved it 25 713

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 583

You deserved it 24 332

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 491

You deserved it 2 806

Attraction

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 932

By anon - 20/12/2016 23:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Spicy

Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 797

You deserved it 2 910

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 126

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2021 10:59

Spicy

Today, my kids did not tell me the AC guy was here. I got up and went to the restroom in my bra and underwear, and the AC guy was standing in the bathroom. Our AC unit is downstairs, so both me and the AC guy were shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 646

You deserved it 4 159

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 186

You deserved it 91 573

Classic lineup

By Phoellie - 28/08/2009 11:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 324

You deserved it 5 233

By gettinghotinhere - 17/10/2014 18:29 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 825

You deserved it 6 873

Next

Top comments

Helldozer 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:19

YDI for bringing random people into your apartment, *****.

breakthesky 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:14

Haha um...

Comments

moonlightruled 9

Thursday 25 September 2014 18:39

you're a ****, you deserved 10x

hurley12 30

Monday 5 January 2015 20:24

Maybe you'll meet a classier guy elsewhere.

Karlsmarx2 9

Sunday 28 June 2015 5:36

He was obviously hung over as shit

LyricaSilvan 29

Wednesday 23 March 2016 8:55

Well...he was either a weirdo or really drunk. Either way, probably not someone you should be seeing again.

carrs2154 9

Friday 27 March 2020 2:54

I think you're lucky that's the worse thing he did. ydi

Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Haircut Cute Relatable You're fired Work Cars Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 713

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 648

You deserved it 4 359

Greedy Catto!

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 70

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 223

You deserved it 4 238

Today, a cashier sniffed at the money "you people" waste on tattoos. I have two full sleeve bamboo thickets to cover up old self-harm scars, but her criticism caused the self-hatred to come roaring back. Now it's a struggle to not fall back into those habits and damage that admittedly expensive artwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 201

Today, my husband is pissed off, withholding affection, and not speaking to me. Why? I don't want to have sex with random men while he watches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 985

You deserved it 227

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. As we waited for our food he took my hand and said, "I think we should break up." When I got outside, my tire was flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 042

You deserved it 1 385