Kids and Intimacy: Hygiene police

Hygiene police

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 846

You deserved it 17 009

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By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 11:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, my coworker and I greeted each other with fist-bumps as usual. He said, "Damn bro, someone got some pussy last night." I asked what he was talking about and he stated my hands smelled "fishy". This morning I threw out some fish in my fridge and even the strongest degreaser doesn't complete the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 135

By me - 23/10/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 640

You deserved it 7 529

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 2 601

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 137

You deserved it 13 659

By shh - 09/10/2015 07:06 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 573

You deserved it 2 779

By docwinters - 27/05/2013 12:39 - Australia - Bathurst

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 177

You deserved it 5 002

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 442

By Uncomfortable - 17/05/2013 07:21

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 780

You deserved it 5 324

Prankster

By longlostkid556 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 637

You deserved it 5 883

petite_amber150 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 9:03

gross. wash much?

batman8 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 9:09

price check on vagiclean, I repeat, price check on vagiclean

Comments

tinacorbin 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 9:28

hah "crotch blocked" by a little girl!

hbacostfu13 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 14:34

maybe you shouldnt have queiffed in front of her face

heatherrr23 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 14:50

ewww wash your **** woman, that's sick

Moo_Horse 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 22:42

oh kids....... dont ya just love em

erika622 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 2:02

oh my lord that's hilarious wash ur shit haha

MDNL 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 5:08

ahahaha! sick.

KillerHos 0

Friday 10 December 2010 8:36

I think it's time to take a bath

aaron5121 13

Sunday 12 December 2010 3:05

you mam, cannot fathom the immensity of the **** I do not give

angelove91 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 23:19

y would you post something like this?! i would be humiliated if i were you not trying to spread it online! ydi!!

stephanieeDawnx 0

Friday 4 November 2011 21:47

Do you even know who is being "humiliated"? No, you dont. Unless you were there & watched them write this, then you have no clue, therefore they are not humiliated. Except at work. I'd hate to have that happen. :/ Good thing I wash..