Innocent

By Luckless - 23/02/2019 04:00

Today, I'm preparing my defense for allegedly stalking someone at work. The best part, I have absolutely no clue who it is. Now my skin is crawling as I go through all the messages and in person events that occurred with my actual twice-my-age stalker to show my boss what a real stalker does. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 271
You deserved it 171
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Top comments

bl3ur0z3 17

Can your stalker confirm they have never witnessed you stalking another person? The eyewitness statement could seal the deal.

19 0
MidnaLink 33

No no no no no! He is being stalked by someone twice his age currently, but doesn’t know who is accusing him of doing the stalking.

11 0

Comments

RichardPencil 30

I hope your accuser is hot. It’d be pathetic if the person you’ve been subconsciously stalking is an uggo.

2 11
core01 30

If you don't know who it is, how do you know he/she is twice your age?

1 12
MidnaLink 33

No no no no no! He is being stalked by someone twice his age currently, but doesn’t know who is accusing him of doing the stalking.

11 0
bl3ur0z3 17

Read it again. It's clearly worded. Somebody has accused OP of stalking them. OP does not know who that person is. OP also has a stalker. The stalker is twice OP's age.

7 0
bloopaloop 27

Sounds like your "stalkee" is another modern day overly sensitive loser

2 3
Mungolikecandy 19

You sound a tad sensitive about that.

3 0
bl3ur0z3 17

Can your stalker confirm they have never witnessed you stalking another person? The eyewitness statement could seal the deal.

19 0
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

when you have to stalk to prove you aren't a stalker¿

1 0
KittyMack 13

Hmm, very coincidental to be both stalkee and accused stalker. I wonder if this is some new torment the stalker has invented. If it's real, it seems like a crazy way of dealing with it. Why don't they say who it is? If you're guilty you already know who it is, and if you're innocent, the "victim" has nothing to fear from you. How TF can you even fight an accusation that's kept secret from you? Ideally you'd be like, "OK, the accuser said I showed up at place X to follow them, but I was there to attend an appointment I booked two months before I met them" or just "I was not there, I was elsewhere, as this witness attests"... but if you don't know... ugh it just seems like an impossible predicament. :-(

1 1
Late For Breakfast 19

How can you prepare your defence without information about what you're accused of?

0 0