Jesus said go to sleep

By david99021 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Turkey - Ankara

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She told me I just needed to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 312
You deserved it 2 622
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Top comments

nooblper 21

Read the bible until you fall asleep from boredom.

325 48
netflixislove 32

Apparently she thinks you need Jesus... Although I don't think he will make you fall asleep

169 10

Comments

tukies 28

Wow this just threw me back to when I was young. My parents thought the reason my migraines were so bad was because I wasn't praying hard enough to make them go away. Medicine works a hell of a lot better. Just saying.

7 1
121179 7

reading puts me to sleep, maybe you should try it

1 1
militarybrat 21

Love it when parents use that excuse. Or tell their teenaged daughter she has CRPS because she jacked off her bf (which i hadnt) or that she has insomnia because demons live in her room because it was cold. Lots of resentment for that last one we just had really crappy windows.

6 1
KayDee29 31

I had a roommate when I lived in the dorms that was Muslim and she is one of the most amazing people I've ever met. She is now my best friend, but when I was dating this (crazy) guy, his whole family had me convinced that demons fly around her all the time because she's not a Christian. Needless to say, I had a ton of sleepless nights full of fear and resentment towards one of my best friends. Thank goodness that's over!

1 3
Knightchaser27 25

How did they convince you of that

2 0
interesting33 36

When people are afraid they are not always rational - I don't think religion is always a rational thing- a lot of things in it are abstract and a lot of Christians believe in demons and angels. You can be convinced of a lot. OP isn't stupid or gulliable - when you are in that situation and surrounded by people voicing such beliefs, when you fear hell if you don't believe things, it can really mess with your mind.

2 1
FFDP 5

And you didn't fall asleep from boredom?!?

2 1
alien236 8

Read the Book of Mormon. Mark Twain called it "chloroform in print" ;)

6 0
InsanePPG 25

Mark Twain is making things up again. He should stick to the approved dialogue. :-P

1 3
SeriousJoker72 18

Google naturopathic wellness places in your area or hotlines, they're usually free and they talk to you about your sleep patterns and help you figure out how to sleep easier and deeper naturally

1 2
seriouslygrowup 11

you obviously didn't follow your mom's advice. if you actually started to read the bible you'd be asleep within 10 minutes

1 1
zehtinyapple 17

Maybe she thought you couldn't sleep because you've "sinned" and are battling with the guilt so you need to repent.

5 0
blackonblight 32

Using the Bible as a cure for insomnia may seem like a good idea but in general reading wakes your brain up more, which will probably explain why so many bibliophiles say "one more chapter" at midnight and are finishing the book at dawn without realizing. (...we don't have a problem! It's science!)

3 3