Intimacy: John Coltrane

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 110

You deserved it 22 198

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Same thing different taste

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 23 508

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 648

You deserved it 61 874

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 611

You deserved it 1 192

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 14 588

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 17 155

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 13:07 - United States - Watchung

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 651

You deserved it 22 498

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 18 568

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 421

You deserved it 6 884

The pleasure, the pain

By BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 187

You deserved it 30 213

_apecakez 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 12:04

LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n

Mattrocker 4

Saturday 11 April 2009 12:03

Got yourself a keeper I see

Comments

choppedNskrewed 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 19:21

TIP: don't ever ever ever ask her for a cleveland steamer.........or an angry dragon (not that you ask for either of those but still...)

machinedreams 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 19:35

Yeah, I've heard this one before. Not an FML.

radge 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 19:44

Your writing style suggests to me that you and your girlfriend can't be much older than 12. In which case, I don't blame her for not knowing.

Brittanyy 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 19:55

Beggars can't be choosers.

average_girl 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 20:28

#196 i know what ******* is.. i just didnt get what he meant at first when he wrote this.. did she actually blow air on his penis?

sLap_fml 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 20:29

that is cute, she will learn, don't be disappointed in her!

average_girl 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 20:33

#196 i know what a ******* is.. i just didnt get what he meant when i first read this.. so shes actually blew air on his penis?.. alright i didnt catch that at first so dont think ur smarter than me (ignore comment #202.. i messed up)

randomcrazyshit 2

Sunday 12 April 2009 20:38

y it it that she has to be innocent to not know what a bj is? i know several girls who have had sex.... a lot of sex, but have never given a bj

breaksprinter_ 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 21:12

There is a difference between not knowing what a ******** is, and just not giving them or having never given one. I can say, from experience, I didn't fail my first time; quite the opposite actually, and that was before I'd ever had sex.. so it can go either way but I don't think it really matters if she didn't know what it was or how to do it, we all have our areas of expertise and apparently her's has nothing to do with oral.