Intimacy: John Coltrane

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 110

You deserved it 22 198

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Same thing different taste

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 23 508

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 648

You deserved it 61 874

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 611

You deserved it 1 192

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 14 588

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 17 155

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 13:07 - United States - Watchung

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 651

You deserved it 22 498

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 18 568

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 421

You deserved it 6 884

The pleasure, the pain

By BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 187

You deserved it 30 213

_apecakez 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 12:04

LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n

Mattrocker 4

Saturday 11 April 2009 12:03

Got yourself a keeper I see

Comments

Go_Home 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 0:54

Hahaha, atleast you got your own cooling system.

BBMountain 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 3:59

LOL - I enjoyed this FML so much that when my boyfriend asked for a ******* i did the same thing, we both had a good laugh, as far as im concerned the girl is a genius for playing innocent!!!!

RyanHPants 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 3:51

Ha ha i know how you feel. My girlfriend of 6 months gave me a ******* for the first time. She performed 10 seconds of oral and then stopped instantly and layed down face first on the bed, she looked upset. I immediately asked what was wrong? She said in a pissed off voice "im pissed because i dont want to get pregnant". She seriously thought she could get pregnant from oral sex FML.

Common_Sense 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 3:47

hahaha, #240, your chick is an idiot..

wonnybot73 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 7:50

I'm upset that this isn't a joke.

myexsucks 0

Friday 24 April 2009 7:55

#240, WOW....make sure you don't let that girl EVER reproduce. I hope she was kidding/ OP: I think your girlfriend was just being a smart ass....If not, you should just guide her. You have to start somewhere. At least she was willing to try it.