Awkward and Intimacy: Juicy

Juicy

By Hum - 02/07/2011 21:50 - Switzerland

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my roommates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 801

You deserved it 12 062

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Bien joué

By ChelseaGirl - 22/08/2024 16:00 - France - Nice

Today, I'm in the south of France and I was trying to impress a cute date at a coffee shop by ordering in what I thought was perfect French. He gave me a weird look, and the barista looked confused. Turns out, instead of ordering a "latte," I asked for "lait," which is just milk. I sat there awkwardly, sipping my cup of cold milk while he watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 498

By nullroute - 16/02/2016 11:34 - Switzerland

Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 148

You deserved it 2 813

Back home

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 19:21 - Germany - Neunkirchen

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 045

You deserved it 5 369

By Jules - 31/07/2017 05:00

Today, I bought a new cannister and it came with a label that said "Cookies" so I carefully scanned and photoshopped it to say "Coffee". Then I opened the cannister to find 11 double-sided bilingual labels -- including "Coffee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 2 581

Bubbly

By traumatised - 15/06/2019 22:27

Today, I went to make my morning coffee as usual. When I opened the container for the coffee grounds, I saw it bubbling. Perplexed, I looked closer. This is how I discovered that maggots can actually bubble what they ingest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 086

You deserved it 283

By Anonymous - 01/10/2013 07:30 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 338

You deserved it 4 496

Delicious

By drchinky888 - 18/09/2016 17:10

Today, I was having dinner at my aunt's house who just migrated to Germany from India and doesn't know any German. I asked for the recipe of a dish and she said that she has been buying these cans with cute kitty picture and just adds spices to it. Cat food is delicious I must admit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 359

You deserved it 1 002

By Jan - 27/02/2013 04:50 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 288

You deserved it 4 324

By cullenthegreat - 25/08/2016 16:26 - United States - Villanova

Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 068

You deserved it 8 466

Thanks, I think?

By Skimilk - 18/02/2010 02:47 - Australia

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 144

You deserved it 5 888

KingGeorgeGal 12

Sunday 3 July 2011 0:45

Well, I hope they put 'sahne' and not 'samen' in your coffee!

saIty 17

Sunday 3 July 2011 0:46

How funny would it be if one of them pulled down their pants, and started beating their ferret?

Comments

CaptainMonroe 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 6:20

that wouldn't be good with sperm lol

MrVictor_fml 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 6:49

are you a little girl? don't post this after something THAT small happened. holy crap.

holybuckets 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 7:09

at least they didn't take you seriously :)

rebelsrock 17

Sunday 3 July 2011 7:24

did u learn German before u went?

soulfulemo 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 18:46

obviously of he said a German word..even if it was wrong, he still said it. implying that he's had some experience with the language.

BarbieGirl1671 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 7:29

I'd cream in your coffee anyday. No pun intended.

BarbieGirl1671 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 7:29

I'd cream in your coffee anyday. No pun intended.

BarbieGirl1671 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 7:30

I'd cream in your coffee anyday... No pun intended.

PressPlay 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 7:47

Well i bet you must have had a great laugh reading it off VDM, to even bother translating it and posting it on FML. "VDM validée"...

Sirin_fml 46

Sunday 3 July 2011 8:50

Yes, indeed the big "Translated from the European FML site." sign underneath the story is there to enlighten and to inform, ma chère. Check, check, check, before saying fake or stolen.