Gross, Insects and Animals: Jump scare

Jump scare

By izzy46111 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 479

You deserved it 5 317

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 958

You deserved it 6 217

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Compacted

By RatFailure - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 948

You deserved it 3 857

By Mary - 16/12/2013 05:14 - United States

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 368

You deserved it 3 447

Customized

By gss - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 515

You deserved it 2 280

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 4 461

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 385

You deserved it 15 362

New nickname just dropped

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Midland

Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 781

You deserved it 1 049

Why did you tell me that?

By mymomplucksbutthair - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 278

You deserved it 3 491

Zit remedy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 199

You deserved it 7 346

Kromcakes 9

Tuesday 11 November 2014 23:52

Oh that's nasty.

Bloodcalibur 13

Tuesday 11 November 2014 23:55

Time to burn down the house. No other options.

Comments

notsoanonymous3 20

Wednesday 12 November 2014 2:24

It's just one ******* hair! who cares?!!

I_eat_hearts17 9

Wednesday 12 November 2014 8:32

Being brother and sister I bet it was an on going war of her denying that any of her hair goes down the drain. Funny enough the exact argument happened between my siblings before too! :-)

LunaaBluee 27

Wednesday 12 November 2014 3:27

Porous le falta! Porque le falta!

kumarina 35

Wednesday 12 November 2014 3:29

La cucaracha, la cucaracha, enchilada, blah, blah, blah

UlondaRoshelle 3

Wednesday 12 November 2014 3:54

I would ****** die!!!!

elcee1987 18

Wednesday 12 November 2014 4:31

Aaaaagh!! The good news is, I enjoyed this Fml. The bad news is, you have roaches! Sorry man, that really sucks. If I were the sister watching though, I would have laughed.

Artemishuntress 8

Wednesday 12 November 2014 4:33

you nasty bet you weren't expecting that

Tegz0rz 12

Wednesday 12 November 2014 4:45

You were gonna confront your sister over one measly strand of hair? You must be fun to live with.

mrd1997 19

Wednesday 12 November 2014 4:45

I've had this happen before, but it was a spider instead of a **** roach. Let's just say, I now turn on the shower and aim it at the drain for a good minute before showering. You never know what you're gonna find down there.

siggy_mcsigx 22

Wednesday 12 November 2014 7:56

rafjghfdjgjshkfjhjdkg water waste

dustin007 15

Wednesday 12 November 2014 5:14

Runn Forrest runnn

jdcg116 10

Wednesday 12 November 2014 7:22

Old fashioned remedy. Mothballs. Under the sinks, w/d area. One under the stove and fridge. Been doing it for 20 years and all i get is a fly or a spider now and then. In the your clothes closets. Cedar wood blocks.