Sex, Cars, ACAB and Transportation: Kinda sus - FML

Kinda sus

By kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 147

You deserved it 14 380

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Same thing different taste

Adventure time

By Spice gone wrong - 31/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my normally very unadventurous girlfriend decided she wanted to have public sex. We were naked in the back of her car when she saw someone in the distance, had a panic attack, and started screaming uncontrollably. I got arrested because a cop heard the screams and thought I was attacking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 150

By loveade11 - 12/01/2010 19:28 - France

Spicy

Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 718

You deserved it 35 592

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 127

You deserved it 40 965

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:04

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 724

By Khrixas_069 - 18/06/2011 07:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 724

You deserved it 58 671

Hello hello hello

By Bonnie and Clyde - 08/05/2015 02:18 - United States - Humble

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 094

You deserved it 9 349

What's going on?

By sexychica - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 910

You deserved it 6 440

Don't dick around with those guys

By Cuntface McGee - 21/02/2014 21:37 - Romania - Dej

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 915

You deserved it 18 625

By DemCherries - 28/03/2017 15:00 - United States - Overland Park

Spicy

Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 275

You deserved it 570

Messing around

By unknown - 08/03/2014 00:53 - United States - San Antonio

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 062

You deserved it 28 835

Next

Top comments

Orchid_fml 2

Monday 10 August 2009 23:07

hahah , he was just checking if it was rape or not . i mean , it was in a park ...

Shots_HK 0

Monday 10 August 2009 23:21

You should have chipped in with a - "No officer, but I am. "

Comments

radiocaf 29

Saturday 22 October 2011 11:23

they have to ask that. its standard protocol.

FailingKing 4

Monday 8 October 2012 3:30

Did she say yes as a joke?

InfamousRaider 15

Thursday 6 June 2013 0:12

ROFL

cwl727 32

Thursday 27 March 2014 0:26

He was just making sure you weren't raping her.

fantasyworld 37

Tuesday 24 March 2015 18:23

They have to ask that. He just wants to be sure you weren't raping her.

justfml22 13

Friday 30 October 2015 14:30

You and her deserved it considering it's illegal to have sex in public.

33kameron33 12

Saturday 30 April 2016 23:15

You deserve it

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 114

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 328

You deserved it 6 125

The Top

Today, on our drive down to California to work on a contract worth 20k with my husband (we own our business and work together), he refused to spend $50 on RV parking, so we didn't get to sleep all night, all because it was hot and the rest-stop was scary. We have two young kids and a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 106

Today, a little girl asked me if I was wearing a wig. It's my real hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 499

You deserved it 172

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 396

You deserved it 3 357

Today, after I spent years, and thousands of dollars, searching for my birth father, he changed his mind about adopting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 164

Today, my boyfriend took a selfie of us. When he turned his phone around, I saw his photos and there was a picture of him with his ex girlfriend earlier that day, despite him saying he had been at work all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 120

Today, I was informed by my mother that my extremely long pinky fingernail could probably get me mistaken for a coke addict. My fingernails grow uncontrollably fast, and my pinky nail is completely natural. It just happens to grow much longer than the others. Imagine explaining that to a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 327