Sex, Phone calls and Intimacy: Kinky

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

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Same thing different taste

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 772

You deserved it 15 178

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 970

You deserved it 12 729

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 355

You deserved it 28 340

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 983

You deserved it 7 876

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 311

You deserved it 2 764

Overdoing it

By Anonymous - 29/05/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 415

By TalkDirtyToMe - 10/10/2014 19:33 - New Zealand

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 107

You deserved it 7 486

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 355

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 5 452

Hot and heavy

By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 442

You deserved it 35 591

SwiftFaux 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:23

That heavy breathing wasn't snoring.

CalCommando 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:47

"Oh baby, never bathe again... your hair is so greasy... rub that cupcake on my ankle!" Oh, not that dirty?

Comments

snoringl 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:04

Sounds like you need to practice talking dirty some more

perdix 29

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:04

As in real life, he probably jizzed 30 seconds after being aroused and then dozed off. Your dirty talk is at least acceptable.

Mr25_fml 14

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:45

That moment when you realize your (phone) sex life is not as good as you might think

ladyLALAA 28

Sunday 15 January 2012 18:31

Pretend to do the same to him when you really are getting down. FYL

SwtCherryPie 26

Sunday 15 January 2012 20:18

Dont be too hard on yourself about it. If it was really late he may have just fallen asleep out of sheer tiredness, or you turned him on enough he got off quickly and didnt wanna ruin it for you and tried to keep going with it but just fell asleep.

nelsokev 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 20:34

he prolly finished then fell asleep.

laliique_31 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 20:48

oh! it's ok! it happens...i know it happens!

pepperlover89 5

Sunday 15 January 2012 21:35

Don't sweat it, I can't count the times my boyfriend has done this. :P And i'm not innocent either. It's just sometimes you really want to, and other times the amazing power of sleep just overcomes you, and who could say no to sleep?