Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Kinky - FML

Kinky

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 03:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 848

You deserved it 6 147

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

The language of love

By Paicked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 643

You deserved it 17 861

By Marian - 23/03/2009 19:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 740

You deserved it 9 064

Empathetic panic

By Anonymous - 20/05/2014 16:31 - Singapore - Singapore

Spicy

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 367

You deserved it 7 619

Overdoing it

By Anonymous - 29/05/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 415

I'm coming !

By ally - 03/02/2009 19:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 238

You deserved it 8 525

Psychopath's joke

By hannieannie - 20/11/2019 01:00

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 042

You deserved it 258

Trigger warning

By Anonymous - 13/10/2023 05:30 - United States - Aiken

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend and I told him that I was going to tickle him, to which he responded me how he’d “crack” me in the head so that I’d never even think about tickling him again. It threw me into a panic attack and people laughed. I’m a survivor of domestic violence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 243

By JRLJLS - 15/04/2013 09:09 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Spicy

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 948

You deserved it 11 522

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 274

You deserved it 7 766

By rebeccacaissie - 21/11/2010 18:16 - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 625

You deserved it 8 912

Next

Top comments

hideyoself 4

Monday 10 January 2011 9:10

He watches too much ****..

youfailed18 0

Monday 10 January 2011 9:06

What a doucher.

Comments

thelastavailable 13

Monday 10 January 2011 9:42

I feel sickened by the number of people who think this is OK. Wow. I'm living in the wrong era.

nokel11 7

Monday 10 January 2011 9:44

you think people didn't have rough sex in other era's? you're dumber than you look.

Radek18 0

Monday 10 January 2011 9:45

you need to get laid..... nah Jk I guess it just depends on the person.

KristinaKreme 0

Monday 10 January 2011 10:19

I absolutely love your comments^ I always know you have something actually logic to say that I agree with!

my_two_cents 3

Tuesday 11 January 2011 7:11

35, ever hear of Marquis de Sade? Maybe you'd prefer his era.

sexxxysydney 14

Monday 10 January 2011 9:43

Hahahahah 32 WIN

marcranger 28

Monday 10 January 2011 9:54

wow. squeeze his balls until he loses circulation. dominance is laughable and pathetic in men, therefore the opposite of sexy.

jarthur128 0

Monday 10 January 2011 12:39

Which is why women rule the world.... Oh wait...

ShadyFTW1 0

Monday 10 January 2011 13:12

Ha, love it when self-obsessed bitches attempt to sound cool.

momo1972 3

Monday 10 January 2011 9:55

hot huh? that freaky

Morrii 0

Monday 10 January 2011 9:59

he's a tool

IBMoondance23 0

Monday 10 January 2011 10:02

run the other way....he isnt showing respect cause he didnt even ask if this is something you like during sex....plus he couldve killed you cause he's obviously inexperienced to do that without a safe word etc etc

fearnoevil175 3

Monday 10 January 2011 10:06

some girls like to be choked.

HelloDeaadKitty 0

Monday 10 January 2011 10:11

cut off his balls & tell hym a man with no balls is sexy!

momo1972 3

Monday 10 January 2011 12:45

learn to spell

VivianAudreyy 0

Monday 10 January 2011 10:14

Did you know that you can have the best ****** of your life if you choke yourself or get choked? Lol it's just something I read.

unidentified_sta 5

Monday 10 January 2011 10:21

I read something just like that! Except it was how people kill themselves by seeking pleasure from self-asphyxiation. Just a slightly different topic.

EvilDave 13

Monday 10 January 2011 16:25

@61, I am sure David Carradine if he had not died from auto-erotic asphyxia, like many other people.

Zakafein 0

Monday 10 January 2011 10:18

Prob cum in ur mouth...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 129

Today, my dad has been faking social anxiety to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. How do I know? Because I actually have social anxiety, and he not only shows no symptoms of it, but he also has a lot of misconceptions about it that he would know are false if he actually did have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, my brand new iPhone 4 was stolen from my bag. I asked the bartender if anyone had handed it in. I soon found out that while I was talking to her, someone swiped my wallet from the bag too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 736

You deserved it 8 309

Today, going through my dead grandma's papers, we found old faded photos. I showed them to my mum, who screamed in shock. They were grandma and granddad's erotic photos from about seventy years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 375

Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 928

You deserved it 2 950

Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 315

You deserved it 6 732

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 472

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 125

You deserved it 44 811