Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Kinky - FML

Kinky

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 03:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 848

You deserved it 6 147

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Same thing different taste

The language of love

By Paicked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 643

You deserved it 17 861

By Marian - 23/03/2009 19:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 740

You deserved it 9 064

Empathetic panic

By Anonymous - 20/05/2014 16:31 - Singapore - Singapore

Spicy

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 367

You deserved it 7 619

Overdoing it

By Anonymous - 29/05/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 415

I'm coming !

By ally - 03/02/2009 19:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 238

You deserved it 8 525

Psychopath's joke

By hannieannie - 20/11/2019 01:00

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 042

You deserved it 258

Trigger warning

By Anonymous - 13/10/2023 05:30 - United States - Aiken

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend and I told him that I was going to tickle him, to which he responded me how he’d “crack” me in the head so that I’d never even think about tickling him again. It threw me into a panic attack and people laughed. I’m a survivor of domestic violence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 243

By JRLJLS - 15/04/2013 09:09 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Spicy

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 948

You deserved it 11 522

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 274

You deserved it 7 766

By rebeccacaissie - 21/11/2010 18:16 - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 625

You deserved it 8 912

Next

Top comments

hideyoself 4

Monday 10 January 2011 9:10

He watches too much ****..

youfailed18 0

Monday 10 January 2011 9:06

What a doucher.

Comments

theslayer77777 0

Monday 10 January 2011 13:53

thats warped just flat out warped... hmm

cgom 0

Monday 10 January 2011 13:57

hahah thats not that bad i mean ppl have weird things that turn them on during sex.. nxt time tellim you want to choke his ass lol

Airch 9

Monday 10 January 2011 14:25

Asphyxiation never goes wrong, you can do it till you're blue in the face......

KylieBunny 0

Monday 10 January 2011 14:31

What's wrong with you ladies!? Men love to do that!! And its fun!! Its not like he was trying to kill you. Most men would dump you for not liking it!

jmcr 27

Thursday 19 September 2013 6:14

And those girls are a lot better off for that if those men are that stupidly selfish

Gillypants 3

Monday 10 January 2011 14:51

omg getting choked during sex is so effing hot. Stop being a baby! If you don't like it, just say so. This isn't an FML moment. Well, maybe it is. FYL for being so dumb.

RyNo24 4

Monday 10 January 2011 15:04

ydi, for not being open minded in bed... prude.

officechairsoldi 0

Monday 10 January 2011 15:15

Choking is a little much for me, but some people like it. He should have asked first though.

bonjourchat 0

Monday 10 January 2011 15:19

my best friend loves to be choked during sex, but that's just her. lol

onehunglo 0

Monday 10 January 2011 15:32

smart man

juicebox27 0

Monday 10 January 2011 16:03

WTF! weirdo!

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Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 109

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 286

The Top

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 240

You deserved it 1 887

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 511

You deserved it 3 858

Today, I discovered that in the three days I left my 18-year-old son in charge, my dog had gotten pregnant. When I confronted my son about it, he stated, "I don't want the reputation of being a cock-blocker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 896

You deserved it 4 093

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 147

You deserved it 2 671

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 346

You deserved it 3 584

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 149

You deserved it 5 338