Work: Lawman

Lawman

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 18:29 - United States

Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 586

You deserved it 14 600

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Same thing different taste

By Andrew - 28/08/2011 22:37 - Ireland

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 346

You deserved it 8 614

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 14:13 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 441

You deserved it 31 035

By kodijack - 25/01/2010 18:13 - United States

Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 670

You deserved it 35 216

By Mick - 20/02/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864 326

You deserved it 94 913

By TooFast - 21/07/2019 02:00 - Australia - Mount Druitt

Today, after being promised a job and attending five full days of training and induction for a job as a bicycle delivery officer, I was denied the job at the very end of the last day for, "riding my bicycle too quickly on the road." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 173

By Chelsea - 27/02/2013 22:39 - United States - Aurora

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 976

You deserved it 2 670

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 09:19

Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 248

You deserved it 1 240

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 182

You deserved it 3 543

BIKES!

By cwell88 - 21/06/2015 13:29

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 775

You deserved it 1 777

By Liz - 01/07/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 444

You deserved it 5 250

P1MP1N 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 1:10

wow, that really sucks. its not your fault at all, how were you to know that the kid had down syndrome? You were just doing your job. Don't worry about it man

betsymonty 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 1:07

You shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the law, and you should definitely tell your boss what happened.

Comments

jlvMan 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 8:30

thank-you so much for making my day. that is by far the funniest thing i've ever heard of.

purple91 8

Thursday 14 May 2009 12:50

this is the first proper laugh I've had all day love it

BlackJewel 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 16:21

eh, come on. they want people with down syndrom to be treated like normal people. you did well

msbarbarabarrow 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 17:40

So totally ****** up man. I feel very bad for you. How horrible to have been in your shoes at that moment. Did you let your boss know? What did he say? Did you tell the kid not to ride his bike on the side walk?

capnpaco 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 18:19

I love all of the people assuming that there are bike lanes in the area in question. Is it really possible to live your whole life without leaving a metropolitan area, or knowing what things are like outside of your particular city? Can you be more naive? If I can be so bold as to bring up a kind of "philosophy of law enforcement": Don't punish every person who rides a bike on the sidewalk. Punish the people who RIDE BIKES ON THE SIDEWALK IN SUCH A WAY THAT IT COULD ACTUALLY CAUSE A PROBLEM. Ditto for jaywalking. And running red lights. And underage drinking. And marijuana use. Feel free to add more.

PlasticHandz 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:00

OMG I want to hurt everyone who is like "OOOO my god where are people supposed to ride their bikes?" THERE IS A ROAD FOR A REASON!

Xero3g 5

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:32

YDI for being a pig.

Bhuggy 0

Friday 15 May 2009 3:21

Not your fault it was the kid's fault for not obeying the law

trickynick1001 0

Friday 15 May 2009 6:38

Gah, I hit "you deserved that" by accident, but I didn't mean it. That sucks, and the poor kid too. . . However, it's not like you meant for things to turn out the way they did.