Work: Leave it

Leave it

By caleighrossi - 16/06/2014 00:21 - United States - Ottumwa

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 608

You deserved it 5 382

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Thanks, lady

By Anonymous - 12/10/2017 23:15

Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 384

You deserved it 267

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 09:58 - New Zealand

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer, I saw her battery was flat so I said, "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said, "Not yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 531

You deserved it 54 632

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 809

You deserved it 12 748

By Misspoopypants - 25/07/2017 05:00

Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 263

You deserved it 363

Evil

By Courts - 28/02/2017 21:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I had a shift as a carer in a high-rise disability home, and working with a lady whom was once a midwife. She had a toy baby, and was rocking it. When I asked her what she was going to do what the baby so she could come to lunch, she casually threw the baby off the balcony and shrugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 531

You deserved it 526

By disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 453

You deserved it 3 688

By aisbash - 01/09/2013 19:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 162

You deserved it 3 640

By ouch - 15/08/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 358

You deserved it 4 109

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 469

You deserved it 4 935

Say it, don't spray it

By grossedout - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 390

You deserved it 3 125

worldclassrager 39

Monday 16 June 2014 7:53

Lesson learned don't touch old ladies tissues

ItsAUnicorn 27

Monday 16 June 2014 7:56

Seems like some simple instructions

Comments

1dvs_bstd 41

Monday 16 June 2014 9:05

i want her secrets!

FrozenMusic 26

Monday 16 June 2014 9:10

That's the last time you asked about that haha

JessBassett 24

Monday 16 June 2014 10:32

I'd like to see her try... but still she sounds badass!

LennyComa 39

Monday 16 June 2014 10:37

That is the best threat an old person could give. Man she sounds cool.

khaled_almu 13

Monday 16 June 2014 10:43

Obey what she said.

WinterBlue42 22

Monday 16 June 2014 10:53

I suspect we may have found a distant relative of Chuck Norris. . Had to be said.

beaverteaser 16

Monday 16 June 2014 11:13

old people are fun

berkeleyjake 13

Monday 16 June 2014 11:37

George R R Martin's mother

the_real_dvd 21

Monday 16 June 2014 12:01

Nobody lives for 100 years and stays innocent. You gotta be a fighter to make it that long.

dragonkisses28 25

Monday 16 June 2014 15:07

My great grandmother died at 105. She did not have a tissue fetish, but she would beat the hell out of you with her cane if you got close enough.

LexiJ1 18

Monday 16 June 2014 12:35

I can't help but think of the old lady from Madagasca. Hm

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

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I agree, your life sucks 42 786

You deserved it 4 461

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I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 94

Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 251

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I agree, your life sucks 46 042

You deserved it 4 491

Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said, "Did you have fun at the party?" I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied, "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 648

You deserved it 53 952

Today, the $800, large capacity, professional carpet steam cleaner my husband supposedly bought me for Christmas got "lost in the mail". So did the refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 215

You deserved it 310