Health, Pranks and Sunburn: Life's a beach

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 155

You deserved it 6 016

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Beccarr - 01/07/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 665

You deserved it 45 659

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 997

You deserved it 18 158

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 04:03 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 658

You deserved it 6 233

By Burned - 05/06/2011 00:54 - United States

Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 108

You deserved it 7 102

By Crashburn - 16/01/2012 11:09 - United Kingdom

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 872

You deserved it 15 390

By ilovedirt - 10/07/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 320

You deserved it 3 768

By Anonymous - 21/02/2010 12:56 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 428

You deserved it 4 477

By tooembarrassed - 12/02/2016 15:13 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 194

You deserved it 1 994

By Dlpnlvr85 - 10/07/2016 18:43 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I woke up to find some really weird stuff in my bed. We just got back from vacation in Florida, and my husband burned really bad. I woke up to his peeled off skin all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 576

You deserved it 845

This is fine

By Anonymous - 09/06/2012 02:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 660

You deserved it 10 376

Anteezy 7

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:13

haha genius.

aback 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:43

He wanted to be able to say that his dick had made you sore, and that was the only way.

Comments

Confuzzledmuch 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:25

I never said regularly her school ball might be coming up or she could have a party to go to. just because people have lives doesn't mean they can't be on fml, is there done sort of criteria I didn't know about?

fnyunj 3

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:40

Wait; you got sunburnt at the beach on December 16th? I'm scraping ice off of my car windows in the dark at 7 am. Your life does not suck. (your BF is an abusive jerk by the way, what he did is not okay, stay with him, and in a few years you'll be like: "My husband slapped me around again today, but said he couldn't help it because I didn't vacuum the rugs. Why didn't I vacuum the rugs?. FML")

Firate 3

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:53

She's from Australia. It's summer over there?

lilah09 0

Friday 18 December 2009 0:19

hahaha wtf is wrong with you! this is not abuse! its clearly not a big deal! i mean yeah its a funny thing to post on fml but i dont think shes taking it seriously, it jsut sucks to have a penis on your back for a while. We here in Aus are quite laid back, its humorous, even if it is immature

the_sodomizer 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:57

wow everyone takes things to seriously "he's immature dump him" if everyone was so mature there would be no fun. I think it's hilarious

sosadrightnow 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:04

This is what you do: offer to put sunscreen on his back and do the same thing. You could wear a tankini that could cover you're back at the beach. He couldn't cover it up.

Wizzards_fml 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:14

hey pleb you are an asshole **** off

Monkey_love 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:24

You should dump him because your penis is bigger than his.

minor_threat 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 18:44

#54, that is epic.

AxCxDxDx 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:42

epic win, i hope it does scar for life

GAYbrial 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:48

I kind of feel sorry for you that you are dating an immature loser. I don't really understand straight guys fascinations with penises. Guess next time you'll just have to ask the hot lifeguard to do it since your boyfriend can't be trusted.