Sex and Intimacy: Lifeless

Lifeless

By Motionless - 26/05/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 087

You deserved it 23 790

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Same thing different taste

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 177

You deserved it 8 661

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 427

By conductingfromthegrave - 01/07/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 405

You deserved it 4 580

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 384

You deserved it 8 015

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 475

You deserved it 6 827

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 1 782

By pathetic - 20/08/2010 09:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 688

You deserved it 29 883

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 219

You deserved it 5 969

Talk to her!

By Anonymoys - 06/04/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom

Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 398

By rawdoglyfe69 - 17/04/2013 06:14 - United States - Helena

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 503

You deserved it 6 079

kg163401 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 15:55

I dub thee corpse ******

yazah 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:53

Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)

Comments

Lemycakes 4

Monday 6 June 2011 4:52

umm wow you should have asked her 'whats up' the FIRST time it happened and if you cant manage that your too immature to be having sex dude..

lauralouise_fml 0

Monday 6 June 2011 18:46

bad times

SirObvious 1

Tuesday 7 June 2011 4:13

Why did it only become an issue the seventh time...

jdav584 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 5:21

dead?

bbbaileeee 1

Thursday 9 June 2011 5:48

i think that means..you kinda suck

neonpanda44 0

Friday 10 June 2011 3:07

uhhh.....new gf?????

jadejazmyn 5

Friday 10 June 2011 22:10

Lol go watch some videos and learn some techniques. You obviously are not good at it.

Donutsandwhich 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 4:05

That's weird she sure made a lot of noise when I ****** her

canvasxskin 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 6:31

uh she either doesn't find you sexually attractive what so ever or your doing something wrong.....i'm leaning towards your doing something wrong.

candycane101 0

Wednesday 15 June 2011 5:09

clearly your sex life isnt going to well!

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 668

You deserved it 3 982

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 026

You deserved it 12 846

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is still liking other semi-naked girls at Instagram, even though I'd told him a month ago that it makes me feel insecure. It's time to say goodbye to him; I can't find a man with integrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 303

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 844

You deserved it 74 861

Today, my husband and I moved to get closer to his job. Today he got transferred 150 miles away from where we moved to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 2 617

Today, I withdrew €40 at the ATM to pay for dinner later tonight. It wasn't until I went to pay for it that I realized I'd taken the receipt, but left the cash in the ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 409

You deserved it 41 848

Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 067

You deserved it 305