Sleep, Creepy, Scary and Kids: Little shit

Little shit

By Anonymous - 28/10/2010 04:44 - Canada

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 3 505

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Same thing different taste

By Braelynn - 26/01/2011 07:48

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 204

You deserved it 3 790

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 156

Hard no

By Eduardo - 18/04/2021 20:00

Today, my 30-year old cousin, who is unemployed, parasitic and never completed high-school, whose girlfriend is a crack addict, wants to move into my place. He was evicted from an apartment building two weeks ago for assaulting some neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 11/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 239

Freeloadin' freewheelin'

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 92

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 109

You deserved it 4 483

Asshats everywhere

By 404 justice not found - 21/04/2016 19:15 - United States - Whitehall

Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 307

You deserved it 1 534

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 372

You deserved it 3 881

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 187

You deserved it 3 412

Rising Damp

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 109

upintheorange 5

Thursday 28 October 2010 12:12

obey him. next time he goes in your room, be masturbating.

maphineRAWRS 10

Thursday 28 October 2010 12:11

how old is he? :S maybe he'll stop.. untill then I vote bear trap at your door. (:

Comments

MoreLemonPledge 0

Friday 29 October 2010 9:37

lock the door its simple or just say you will beat the shit outta him if he does it again

MrZZ 1

Friday 29 October 2010 11:07

That sucks man. What did you do to offend him?

wtfsnickers 1

Friday 29 October 2010 11:43

duct tape it's a fun substance

Pocahontas22_fml 0

Friday 29 October 2010 12:56

hahahaha too funny. I wish I was young enough to do that and get away with it lol

JustJaredfied 0

Friday 29 October 2010 13:12

how old is your cousin 5?

j0eStER 0

Friday 29 October 2010 17:02

dudeee, Knock that ****** out. Grab him by the throat and throw him outside.

xClairex_fml 1

Friday 29 October 2010 18:23

have you heard of a little thing called a lock?

Cjmw 7

Friday 29 October 2010 19:21

Smack his head into a ******* tree. It's what I'd do...

mpphish 0

Friday 29 October 2010 20:44

lock your door.

HunterAlpha1 8

Saturday 30 October 2010 4:52

there are measures you can take to stop him: 1. lock your door every night. 2. if you're not allowed to lock your door or your door doesn't have one, talk to your parents about it, and ask them to make him stop. 3. if your parents don't have the balls to do what needs to be done(spanking, grounding, take away his toys, etc.) go to child protective services, they'll probably have him moved to a foster home. 4. if you're an adult and have the capability to move out, then go get yourself a job and an apartment.

HunterAlpha1 8

Saturday 30 October 2010 4:54

so YDI if you don't do something about it. but if you're still a minor and neither CPS nor your parents will do anything about it, then FYL. now it's time to assert your authority as being bigger, stronger, and smarter.

embarrasing101 2

Sunday 16 January 2011 10:09

good thinking. let a happy couple hve to put up with **** U being shouted in theyre ear every night (unless they of course are def, if not they soon will be)