Sleep, Creepy, Scary and Kids: Little shit

Little shit

By Anonymous - 28/10/2010 04:44 - Canada

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 3 505

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Same thing different taste

By Braelynn - 26/01/2011 07:48

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 204

You deserved it 3 790

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 156

Hard no

By Eduardo - 18/04/2021 20:00

Today, my 30-year old cousin, who is unemployed, parasitic and never completed high-school, whose girlfriend is a crack addict, wants to move into my place. He was evicted from an apartment building two weeks ago for assaulting some neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 11/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 239

Freeloadin' freewheelin'

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 92

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 109

You deserved it 4 483

Asshats everywhere

By 404 justice not found - 21/04/2016 19:15 - United States - Whitehall

Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 307

You deserved it 1 534

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 372

You deserved it 3 881

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 187

You deserved it 3 412

Rising Damp

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 109

upintheorange 5

Thursday 28 October 2010 12:12

obey him. next time he goes in your room, be masturbating.

maphineRAWRS 10

Thursday 28 October 2010 12:11

how old is he? :S maybe he'll stop.. untill then I vote bear trap at your door. (:

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 28 October 2010 15:05

Punch him hard right in his nose next time. Blame it on being "startled out of a deep sleep." He is in YOUR house, your home turf, so use it to your advantage. Shit, hit below the belt by making fun of his situation about having to live at your house.

noscope_ftw 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 15:13

lock your door?

toohottiedottie 2

Thursday 28 October 2010 15:18

and that's exactly the moment you pop him in the mouth!

TheNewGuy03 28

Thursday 28 October 2010 15:24

for all those who are advising op to lock his door, block it, etc., then they must consider that, if the kid is as annoying as all of us can surmise, he will try alternate means to bother his big cousin, e.g., banging on the door. the next time he tries some bullshit like that, sock him straight in the muthafuckin' dome. he won't forget shit. plan b is choking him out, but whatever. do what you want. |the kid|

RaRasHoRts 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 15:38

ahaha! wow! XD

Daddymo 14

Thursday 28 October 2010 15:42

Webcam. YouTube. Send link to his parents. Simples!

bobsanction 18

Thursday 28 October 2010 15:57

Punch the little ****** in the fact and say you were asleep.

dragonmystik3030 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 16:04

2am.. Hockey mask, fake blood and a chainsaw and see how the lil prick likes to be woken up :) oh and video it so when he ***** his pants you can send it to funniest home videos :)

DatingScaresMe 2

Thursday 28 October 2010 16:12

Are you being outsmarted by the kid, or overpowered? If you consider yourself more intelligent and virile than a small child then turn the tables on him. Duh.