he sounds fantastic

Woah, is that how bad you're situation is, OP? That's truly sad.

Weird Al being weird.

"I promised my friend I would come over and say hi...hi..."

If it makes you feel better, you can hold my hand :) or get a dog, shaking hands with their paw is ok too

Didn't seem a weird comment to me sounded like a polite and caring person. Why thumb down for someone having a heart?

Sounds like you're really lacking a human connection you very much need. I hope you can find someone special. I don't think you're going to find what you're looking for in the hand of a mannequin though. Best of luck to you get out there with eyes wide open.

OR - now hear me out, OP - or, you can take your right hand, and with it - are you still with me? Stay with me now - with that right hand, you hold your own LEFT hand. Crazy, right? I know, I know. This does requires some thinking outside the box, but I think, with help, you can get there. I believe in you, OP. Baby steps.

Mannaquins are freaking creepy FYL OP.

Will Smith is truly a great actor.