Animals: Lurker

Lurker

By Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 068

You deserved it 3 101

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Same thing different taste

Snek

By afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 978

You deserved it 6 327

Australia? Australia.

By ReptillianFreeloader - 13/02/2017 11:00 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 199

You deserved it 659

By olive_costume - 05/12/2009 01:16 - Australia

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 720

You deserved it 8 065

Psssssych!

By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 340

You deserved it 540

Thanksssss

By Mojosahomo - 10/01/2018 17:30 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 163

You deserved it 622

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 793

You deserved it 6 879

Sneeeeek!

By blindsparrow - 18/11/2014 05:35 - United States - Dublin

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 392

You deserved it 2 946

By Tim - 07/08/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 725

You deserved it 3 357

By anonymous - 25/06/2016 20:03 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 537

You deserved it 947

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 45 480

w2z1 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 16:31

Was he a...sneaky snake?!?!

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 20 February 2011 16:55

Sssssshit.

Comments

doglover100 28

Sunday 9 March 2014 22:45

I would freak out if that happened to me.

fuckercakes 21

Tuesday 23 September 2014 2:38

So how messy is your room

shithappensr8 9

Saturday 13 February 2016 9:16

how would you know it was angry and not horny?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 667

You deserved it 39 751

The Top

Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 2 723

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 460

You deserved it 3 109

Today, I realized my lack of spatial awareness has hit a new low when it took me 15 tries to type the word “At” instead of “Ay.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 217

Today, I realized this holiday season is the first time in 4 years that I won't have a partner to share the holidays with. My partner of 4 years cheated on me this summer. I'm still bitter and dating is unnecessarily difficult. I wish I could just be happy alone and never feel lonely again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 149

Today, my best friend told me she didn't want to be my friend anymore, because she wanted to start afresh in college and have pretty friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 152

You deserved it 127

Today, I saw that the man who got me pregnant, and swore that if I kept it he'd run away to Asia, and his new girlfriend announced their pregnancy on social media. They both seem to be very happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 225