Sex, Painful and Intimacy: Marvel Comics - FML

Marvel Comics

By Anonymous - 14/07/2011 16:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 828

You deserved it 15 919

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 425

You deserved it 4 625

Mood ruined

By Anonymous - 10/02/2010 00:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 908

You deserved it 18 148

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Spicy

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 846

You deserved it 5 090

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 457

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 427

You deserved it 26 491

By InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 592

You deserved it 2 368

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 03:11 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 263

You deserved it 7 094

Passionate

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 478

By anon - 08/12/2012 05:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 471

You deserved it 5 445

By fungettingdressed - 12/10/2010 12:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 944

You deserved it 9 090

Next

Top comments

yellowboy30 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:39

my nails r cut. let me try

JesseOhNine 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:33

yuck

Comments

dyno254 0

Friday 15 July 2011 23:48

is he a fag?

choclatmuffin101 2

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:25

Guys with long nails are gross :(

starquality 7

Saturday 16 July 2011 5:31

just be glad that he wasn't wearing fangs and ate you.

obrien813 6

Saturday 16 July 2011 5:35

gross

bballstar1244 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 8:52

uh ouch?? :/

simon_lala 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 9:27

comic book wolverine or Hugh jackman wolverine? just asking.

stuart169 3

Saturday 16 July 2011 10:03

Maybe you should stop dating emo dickheads that think they're vampires or some stupid some stupid shit ?....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') ..........................'...../ ..........''............. _.·´ ..........................( ..............................

qtns0cal 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 10:23

disgusting!!! do you know how many bacteria live under finger nails? you probably have a pretty nasty infection now

Alfonsooo 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 18:21

I bite my nails so my girlfriend need not worry

shoecrazy 5

Saturday 16 July 2011 18:58

tell him I'd he wants to get near you again he better cut them sh*ts

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 714

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 473

The Top

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 060

You deserved it 3 876

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 258

You deserved it 63 229

Today, I was at the beach with my friend on vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 992

You deserved it 9 431

Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 623

You deserved it 4 504

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 380

You deserved it 53 694

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 6 604