Weird, TV shows, Scary and Love: Minor threat

Minor threat

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 12:33 - Australia - Fairfield

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I'm now afraid to argue with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 480

You deserved it 3 447

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Same thing different taste

Danger zone

By Agony! Agony! Agony! - 03/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's needy five year-old tried to swing on my arm while I was cutting celery. I needed seven stitches. Later, my girlfriend complained that I should have cleaned up the blood because she's squeamish, and that I upset her son by yelling and cussing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 04/11/2012 18:14 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 789

You deserved it 2 375

By bloody - 15/06/2013 08:57 - United States

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 159

You deserved it 5 086

By StabStab - 11/01/2015 13:03 - Belgium

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 345

You deserved it 2 964

Hard act to follow

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 12:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 234

You deserved it 13 446

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 124

Oh no, the humanity!

By clown head - 24/08/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend had dyed her hair a ridiculous bright color. She knows I absolutely fucking despise brightly colored hair on women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 358

By Shame - 19/09/2012 20:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 119

You deserved it 3 605

By soprahb - 19/10/2012 06:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 430

You deserved it 1 848

By Nogood - 10/03/2013 09:09 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 169

You deserved it 3 016

zebraumicornz 6

Saturday 15 December 2012 15:49

Doesn't that juice stain! I would get some stain remover if I was you...

lolmigosh 15

Saturday 15 December 2012 15:48

I would keep my eye on her if I were you.

Comments

ktwynn 6

Saturday 15 December 2012 19:11

Dexter is a great show and pomegranates at absolutely delicious, I'll give her that! But I would sleep with one eye open if I were you, especially once the evil laugh sets in...