Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Miscommunication

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 18 568

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Same thing different taste

In training

By Anonymous - 13/12/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 188

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 677

You deserved it 7 399

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 23 508

Giving and taking

By patriarchal apparently - 29/06/2013 19:58 - Saint Lucia

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 237

You deserved it 9 998

Double-edged sword

By Janitoro - 23/11/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 421

You deserved it 9 210

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 973

You deserved it 19 174

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 968

You deserved it 5 604

Denied

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 22:00

Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 142

Underperforming

By ThatIsNotIt - 24/01/2021 04:02 - United Kingdom

Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 182

bobbybill0519 7

Thursday 25 October 2012 12:00

One does not simply refuse a *******

melij99 5

Thursday 25 October 2012 12:06

You may be the first man in history to be called a jerk for refusing a BJ. Congratulations!

Comments

lolwutdino 9

Thursday 25 October 2012 15:45

In Soviet Russia, ******** do you.

IrePandaPotterLe 8

Thursday 25 October 2012 15:54

In Soviet Russia and in the rest of the world,this joke isn't funny anymore.

billyw02 5

Thursday 25 October 2012 16:05

All I see is "Today, my girlfriend wanted to blow me. FML."

BananerzFresh 12

Thursday 25 October 2012 16:18

I hope you two talked about it and you explained to you gf that you felt embarressed OP.

whatsittuya 2

Thursday 25 October 2012 16:26

You have my permission to cry.

windfuelsfire 10

Thursday 25 October 2012 16:41

56 - I do

Knightchaser27 25

Thursday 25 October 2012 16:49

I don't understand why she got so upset

charvisioku 22

Thursday 25 October 2012 16:51

How can she think that's you being a jerk? The logic of that escapes me...

BellaBelle_fml 23

Thursday 25 October 2012 20:41

Maybe he didn't tell her why he didn't want her to continue, or maybe he did but she just misunderstood. Both of these reasons could cause the girlfriend to feel like she wasn't doing a good job.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Thursday 25 October 2012 17:03

I don't see how a ******** would be degrading to women. Girls surely don't think it's degrading for men to go down on them. When I'm getting a bj, I usually return the favor. I could definitely see why he would stop her if he's all sweaty though, I would never put a girl through something as disgusting as that.

Mauskau 35

Thursday 25 October 2012 17:07

If that was the case then OP shouldve told her that he hasn't washed and he would rather wash first. That's what I do and that's what me and my bf do. But if she was just about to put it in her mouth, she probably wouldn't have minded it because she would've been able to smell if it was dirty, then he should've shut up and let her decide herself. She's probably put off and I would feel the same.