Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: Morning surprise - FML

Morning surprise

By JayBausch - 17/08/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 762

You deserved it 7 063

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Same thing different taste

Some fun was had

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 74

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 654

You deserved it 2 615

By day001313 - 07/04/2012 04:32 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 905

You deserved it 3 351

Thanks for nothing

By Downinthedumps - 14/08/2016 22:44 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 382

You deserved it 1 130

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 557

You deserved it 4 902

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 349

You deserved it 741

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 852

You deserved it 373

People are jerks

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 03:59

Today, I cleaned the two staircases at the hotel where I work. Five minutes later, someone complained they were dirty. Someone had dropped soda and got mud all over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 66

By embarrassed - 19/12/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 554

You deserved it 3 928

White Lotus vibes

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 10:00

Today, I had to deal with a guest who'd left his shoes outside his door to be polished. I told him our hotel doesn’t offer shoe polishing, so if they’re gone they must have been stolen. He then accused me of stealing them for myself, even though I’m a woman with feet 6 sizes smaller than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 92

Next

Top comments

caitoLo 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

someBODY or someTHING?

knd_34 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:48

Nice use of the word "shat". People get that wrong all the time.

Comments

fecking 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:32

LAST.

stereopump 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:52

first to comment on #1, what now.

stereopump 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:53

Also I was the first one to complain about the person replying to #1 replying just to get to the top.

Rakayum 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:08

your wife probably did it dude.

cocoapuffshooter 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:27

I totally said that when I read it on the main page, then clicked in to comment. You, Rakayum, are my long-lost twin. We should meet up and make funnies at other people.

KiSsKiZzy 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:36

Did you put them on???

phlipphoneguy 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 6:28

yo dawg, i heard you liked comments, so i put a comment in your comment so you can rofl while you lol'd

StealthStorm67 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 7:20

Is this X-to the-Z Xzibit?

danyfuckinheatle 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 20:04

win

missmontreal97 4

Wednesday 11 August 2010 14:34

lmao, this actually made me laugh :D

luvzit 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 11:55

lol made me laugh to!!!

bill929 7

Saturday 16 July 2011 15:28

I bet that stinks

caitoLo 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

someBODY or someTHING?

live_and_learn 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 22:49

Why would you leave ANY of your belongings outside the door in the hallway of a hotel? That's just asking for something bad to happen. You totally deserve that one man.

fuzzybrownbear 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 4:07

**** dude, i would have done that if i saw shoes sitting outside a room

theta_fml 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

You got owned.

yaktazuki 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

BAHAHA

blingblaine 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:35

My bad, sorry about that.

str8upmobbin 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:37

hahahahaahahahahahahha.. oh. hahahaahhahahahah

insert_name 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:38

HAHAHA wow, does really suck for you though, my apologies that it happened.

NonImmigrant 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:39

You should make a movie called 1guy1sneaker.

TurdMonkey 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:31

please, PLEASE stop with your feeble attempts at wit. This is the second time i've been reading the comments, felt pissed off after reading a post, then looked to see the cum guzzling ****** that said it and saw your ugly ass face. ****** asian disgrace.

sublime93 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:42

Lmfaoo #8, bow your head in shame.

mastory96 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:40

hah! maybe it was a dog. who knows. that's hilarious though.

div01 2

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:40

um ...what kind of hotel were u in? damn! so close to first...

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Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 118

You deserved it 3 775

The Top

Today, my mom offered me a reward if I went out and mowed our lawn. After 45 mins of pushing a lawnmower in 95-degree heat and getting stung by a bee, I go inside and ask my mom for my reward. She comes up to me, gives me a 'loving hug' and says, "Thank you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 1 668

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 053

You deserved it 8 334

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 801

You deserved it 3 525

Today, I told my husband that as I wasn't hungry, he had to cook for himself. He rang my Spanish stepmother as a joke to complain that I’m not wifey material. She showed up, whacked me with her Chancla, and browbeat me into cooking. He feels hella guilty, but he’s still a dead man once she leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 303

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and who knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night… It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 929

You deserved it 7 384

Today, I'm catfishing a guy on Twitter. I didn't mean to start it, I had an account I used to vent with, and I used a pic with a cute girl. He sent me a DM saying he liked my pic. He wanted to talk on the phone, and we have fallen for each other. He thinks I'm 18. I'm a 39 year-old single mother of 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 5 611