Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: Morning surprise - FML

Morning surprise

By JayBausch - 17/08/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 762

You deserved it 7 063

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Same thing different taste

Some fun was had

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 74

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 654

You deserved it 2 615

By day001313 - 07/04/2012 04:32 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 905

You deserved it 3 351

Thanks for nothing

By Downinthedumps - 14/08/2016 22:44 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 382

You deserved it 1 130

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 557

You deserved it 4 902

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 349

You deserved it 741

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 852

You deserved it 373

People are jerks

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 03:59

Today, I cleaned the two staircases at the hotel where I work. Five minutes later, someone complained they were dirty. Someone had dropped soda and got mud all over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 66

By embarrassed - 19/12/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 554

You deserved it 3 928

White Lotus vibes

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 10:00

Today, I had to deal with a guest who'd left his shoes outside his door to be polished. I told him our hotel doesn’t offer shoe polishing, so if they’re gone they must have been stolen. He then accused me of stealing them for myself, even though I’m a woman with feet 6 sizes smaller than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 92

Next

Top comments

caitoLo 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:33

someBODY or someTHING?

knd_34 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:48

Nice use of the word "shat". People get that wrong all the time.

Comments

aback 4

Tuesday 18 August 2009 2:23

Did it improve the smell?

plexico 3

Tuesday 18 August 2009 2:26

Your shoes were stinking up the whole hallway. The shitter thought his deposit might cover up the smell.

RichYungReverse 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 2:33

LMFAOOOOO the visual of somebody taking a crap into a random pair of shoes is priceless FYL

plexico 3

Tuesday 18 August 2009 7:56

Even better is that they did it in ONE of the shoes! How did he or she choose which one?

justmyluck1212 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 2:36

is shat really the past tense of shit? thats weird...

TurdMonkey 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:34

LOL @ everyone taking this word so seriously shit:shat::lol:lul (i think o_o)

liquidbunny 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 2:46

Yes, shat is really the past tense of shit. Also, dude you should invest in some odor eaters next time but man that really is an effed up thing for someone to do.

Lautaro 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 2:55

No, shat is not the past tense of shit. It's just "shit". Shat is just a PG way of saying it or something.

Apocalyptus 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 10:50

Nope, it's definitely 'shat'

DameGreyWulf 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 5:10

33, you're thinking of things like "shyt" or "sh!t" Shat is often used as a past-tense for shit.

DameGreyWulf 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 2:47

LMFAO WHAT Also 28, it's actually slang, but it doesn't matter since shit is slang in the first place. I think shat sounds better and is more acceptable, though.

coffeeman220 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 2:52

lol, that sucks. I hope you didn't like those shoes. y did ur wife make u leave them outside hotel?

dan11 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 2:53

i moderated this :D

Phoenix_fml 13

Tuesday 18 August 2009 2:59

welcome to New York

JayFrankus 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:00

please don't tell me they was Nike hyperizes or some fly shoe like that

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

The Top

Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 636

You deserved it 2 543

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 617

You deserved it 11 222

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 2 811

Today, I learned to never put a just-bought-about-an-hour-ago-from-the-grocery-store frozen solid turkey in the turkey frying pot. My job’s banquet hall was burnt to a crisp and the fire department came. The Thanksgiving potluck was ruined. Oh, and I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 1 565

Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 203

You deserved it 8 908

Today, after we managed to find a horse that was completely healthy and problem-free, we took her home. Now she keeps getting thinner because she's stressed and scared. Of what? Of having too much space to move around in, and occasionally seeing deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 132