Transportation: Never joke with TSA

Never joke with TSA

By missy - 16/06/2011 02:42 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 025

You deserved it 10 115

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 14:25 - United States

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 527

You deserved it 3 660

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 573

You deserved it 49 770

By Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 277

You deserved it 11 624

Eww! Cleanliness!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 472

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 610

You deserved it 41 652

By Anonymous - 17/07/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 663

You deserved it 47 213

Jamaica? I hardly know her

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 2 471

By justgreat - 28/09/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 086

You deserved it 3 416

Thanks, son

By sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 356

You deserved it 6 377

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 35 464

Livinia 11

Thursday 16 June 2011 8:54

Maybe he had a feisty fight with an eyelash curler back in the day.

prettyinpunk1025 14

Thursday 16 June 2011 8:49

yeah don't joke around toward them or cops... they never think its funny

Comments

kemmons88 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 9:15

Man curling is a growing issue in the US. Your lucky he let you off so easy.

pman590 8

Thursday 16 June 2011 9:17

did you get it back...

unfortunate_13 5

Thursday 16 June 2011 9:20

Joke or not, that's not even a threath, you asked him nicely! (but the joke was pretty funny indeed)

Matty1188 6

Thursday 16 June 2011 10:00

18, you just ruined my childhood.

muchagente 5

Thursday 16 June 2011 10:05

agree with 26. tough picture.

kirbybdj 2

Thursday 16 June 2011 9:21

wow, some people are just rediculous !

celiiceegee 6

Sunday 14 October 2012 12:39

Much like your spelling.

LakersFanatiC 3

Thursday 16 June 2011 9:25

hahaha since sept 2001 airport employees are serious business

A13X33STJ 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 9:27

Well... i mean.. were you? Im just wondering... not that i had an idea to do that...

ujstgtpwnd73 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 9:36

ur a dumbass. NEVER ******* JOKE WITH AIRPORT SECURITY!

kpadgett045 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 9:45

lol. wow sounds like someone had a curling iron up there butt that day..

Alycidon 1

Thursday 16 June 2011 9:58

Never mess with airport security. YDI.

jess6blondie9 2

Thursday 16 June 2011 10:07

Oooooo. Not a good idea to joke around with airport security. They're tough.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 152

You deserved it 39 590

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 398

Today, I learned that my current boss took my fiancé's virginity back in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 100

Today, my husband brought me breakfast in bed. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful and love him even more for the thought. But the only problem with breakfast in bed is that you have to eat what they bring you, even if it's bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 921

You deserved it 1 963

Today, my parents and I were looking for something using the TV's search bar. Despite never, ever watching anything resembling porn, one of the default search options was, "Hot female Asian sex videos." Thank God they have an excellent sense of humor, as they laughed their heads off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 89

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 38 369

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 770

You deserved it 2 730