Miscellaneous: No cussing - FML

No cussing

By jdsksoapy - 30/03/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "Hell". FML

I agree, your life sucks 211 174

You deserved it 35 023

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 176

By libraries are a girl's best friend - 19/07/2013 21:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 948

You deserved it 35 611

By siikman313 - 12/09/2011 21:37 - United States

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 589

You deserved it 3 944

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 821

You deserved it 3 128

By dadyoureacunt - 21/09/2013 13:10 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 520

You deserved it 7 463

Not your day, is it?

By hiheyaiden - 03/03/2022 23:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, my mom kept swearing and punished me while I was in an online lesson. I almost got punished by the teacher as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 105

By properpissed - 03/06/2014 15:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 10 166

Holiday assumptions

By Red Toad - 26/12/2020 20:59 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 147

By not saying it was whores, but... - 16/10/2014 20:32 - United States

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 402

You deserved it 9 141

By minikat - 02/06/2018 15:00

Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 111

You deserved it 267

Next

Top comments

SwordSlasher 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:09

Fail parents -_-

drimpossible 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:10

Try "Heck!" or if really moved "Fiddlesticks!"

Comments

DinoJR 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:26

You're a bitch.

RDMC20 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 17:05

as everyone else said, you deserved it, you're clearly a huge bitch.

bioclock 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:52

Lawl #123 And wow, that sucks. My parents used to be really strict about swearing when I was a kid. 3 months after I left for college, I came back for a visit, and accidentally swore in front of them, and they didn't care. Sorry that that doesn't seem to be the case for you.

alyssamarie218 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:14

if it makes you feel any better, my boss told me she would wash my mouth out with soap if she heard me say "****" again.

Leoplum 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:15

You deserved that one. You're an adult. Why did you take that SHIT? see? I cursed =P

calmthefuck_down 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 22:57

lol #7

Nanospeed 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 23:34

lol why do christians always feel the need 2 wash ppl's mouths its like the stupidest idea ive ever heard and ive heard plenty of stupid ideas

TJS123OMG 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 0:36

You are 19 years old, move out of your parents' house. If you choose to keep living there, live by their rules.

paperbagprincess 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 0:45

Exactly how do parents "make" an eighteen year old do something?

milosnail 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 1:05

move out move out move out move out!

12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 670

You deserved it 4 364

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I was in the bathroom taking a massive dump, with the door closed, moaning and yelling to get it out, knowing I was home alone. When it was done, I walked out to see my mother on the couch, who said, "I know masturbation is normal, but please try to do it while we're not here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 1 388

Today, at the age of 27, I still can’t so much as look at a marker without getting marker on my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 188

Today, after checking in and waiting for three hours to see the doctor, the receptionist said she forgot about me because she didn't see me. She asked me to come back tomorrow. I was sitting right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 163

You deserved it 4 205

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 822

You deserved it 110 494

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 656

You deserved it 121 642

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 927

You deserved it 3 666