Miscellaneous: No cussing - FML

No cussing

By jdsksoapy - 30/03/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "Hell". FML

I agree, your life sucks 211 174

You deserved it 35 023

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Proportional response

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 176

By libraries are a girl's best friend - 19/07/2013 21:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 948

You deserved it 35 611

By siikman313 - 12/09/2011 21:37 - United States

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 589

You deserved it 3 944

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 821

You deserved it 3 128

By dadyoureacunt - 21/09/2013 13:10 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 520

You deserved it 7 463

Not your day, is it?

By hiheyaiden - 03/03/2022 23:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, my mom kept swearing and punished me while I was in an online lesson. I almost got punished by the teacher as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 105

By properpissed - 03/06/2014 15:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 10 166

Holiday assumptions

By Red Toad - 26/12/2020 20:59 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 147

By not saying it was whores, but... - 16/10/2014 20:32 - United States

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 402

You deserved it 9 141

By minikat - 02/06/2018 15:00

Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 111

You deserved it 267

Next

Top comments

SwordSlasher 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:09

Fail parents -_-

drimpossible 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:10

Try "Heck!" or if really moved "Fiddlesticks!"

Comments

lalophobia 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 1:12

so you said a word that is actually IN the bible .. good for you ? Oh and being a good Christian.. shouldn't they turn the other cheek instead of making your life miserable? also .. too bad you're 18+ you could have tried filing for being lousy parents by making you eat soap :) (ps.. you might want to look into this whole moving out thing )

Ashura714 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 11:45

why should he kill himself when he can kill the parents? but he shouldnt kill his parents >_> he should just castrate his dad XD

sexiibitch013 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 15:45

you have legal rights! take some some and wash their mouth out

NeuroticDesire 2

Wednesday 11 August 2010 6:58

Wow...you need some serious balls. If you don't leave that house I'll kidnap you myself

LIL209JJ 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 22:17

so you're Mormon?

AmbrosiaFan 18

Thursday 12 August 2010 15:39

YDI. You are 19! Don't let your parents "make" you do anything. You have every right to swear if you want to.

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Friday 13 August 2010 7:16

How is 'hell' a curse word? 'Hell' is a Holy word. God says it. Jesus says it. THE HOLY BIBLE says it. So what's the problem?

monkeykiller77 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 8:40

move out, if you were visiting tell them to **** themeselves

jdawg4545 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:39

u pussy wash their mouths out whats wrong with u your pathetic

smileygirl1234 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 20:38

AHAHA! funniest fml ever...

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The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 029

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 700

The Top

Today, a guy I met online cancelled meeting me for the second time. The first time was because of work, and this time because of a game. I don't understand why was i even looking forward to meeting him, and I feel like it's all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 149

Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 776

You deserved it 3 102

Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 294

You deserved it 35 175

Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 546

You deserved it 3 578

Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 84

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 267

You deserved it 3 529