Miscellaneous: No cussing - FML

No cussing

By jdsksoapy - 30/03/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "Hell". FML

I agree, your life sucks 211 174

You deserved it 35 023

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Proportional response

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 176

By libraries are a girl's best friend - 19/07/2013 21:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 948

You deserved it 35 611

By siikman313 - 12/09/2011 21:37 - United States

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 589

You deserved it 3 944

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 821

You deserved it 3 128

By dadyoureacunt - 21/09/2013 13:10 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 520

You deserved it 7 463

Not your day, is it?

By hiheyaiden - 03/03/2022 23:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, my mom kept swearing and punished me while I was in an online lesson. I almost got punished by the teacher as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 105

By properpissed - 03/06/2014 15:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 10 166

Holiday assumptions

By Red Toad - 26/12/2020 20:59 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 147

By not saying it was whores, but... - 16/10/2014 20:32 - United States

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 402

You deserved it 9 141

By minikat - 02/06/2018 15:00

Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 111

You deserved it 267

Next

Top comments

SwordSlasher 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:09

Fail parents -_-

drimpossible 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:10

Try "Heck!" or if really moved "Fiddlesticks!"

Comments

effevery1slife 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:42

ur 19 years old... say no! can your mom really force you to eat soap? or would she have put u in a time out if u told her no? pussy

popsoda 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:44

move the **** out. your a little bitch if you let your parents or anyone for that matter treat you like that. grow some balls, man up if you are female, then woman up.

Kamicase 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:46

Getting punished for saying Hell: You are ******! Living with your parents when 20: You deserved it! and you don't even have the balls to stand up and say no!

Metal1209 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:47

Don't let them see that you go on **** my life.com!! They will probably make you drink gallons of bleach or something!

rgop 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:50

Your parents have obviously never been to New Jersey...

123412341234 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:53

i almost got a letter sent home (potentially for suspension/expulsion) because i said "who the hell is that?" in class. not even during class time. it was at a lunch break... too bad :( and i agree with #60... moving out and leaving isn't that easy... i've been wanting to move out, but it requires money that i don't have and a lot of planning that i don't have time for. and a lot of people are in school (university), meaning they can't afford to pay off tuition AND rent and food, etc. i mean, it varies for everyone and their current situation. unless you want to go totally homeless. a local public bench could work too... not sure how winter will greet you...

g_unit 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:56

haha and you let her do it? wtf dude. grow some balls.

medfly 2

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:56

whaaat, I thought that was an idiom, not something people actually do...

wickedsick 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:57

WTF?! You're 19 and you're letting your dad have you wash your mouth out with soap? Pussy.

xkaokaox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 3:06

yes i agree with number 69. you are freaking 19 and LET your parents wash your mouth out with soap? if I were you I'd be like "**** that!"

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The Top

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 124

You deserved it 40 856

The Top

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 170

You deserved it 4 847

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 917

You deserved it 43 076

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 146

You deserved it 78 938

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 458

You deserved it 2 986

Today, I was sat next to a screaming baby on a 9-hour flight. Now before anyone has a go at me, I am in no way blaming the baby, I’m blaming the mother with her makeup hair and nails done perfectly, with her AirPods on, staring at her phone, and ignoring her screaming child the full 9 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 110

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 695

You deserved it 43 471