Intimacy: No kinkshaming here - FML

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 094

You deserved it 5 791

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Eve - 24/06/2011 10:45 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 099

You deserved it 10 727

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 059

You deserved it 906

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 096

You deserved it 5 731

By DallasGal - 14/02/2012 16:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 825

You deserved it 3 877

Wrong, just wrong

By Anonymous - 02/07/2017 10:00 - China - Chengdu

Spicy

Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 713

You deserved it 7 298

What a wanker

By Anonymous - 01/06/2019 20:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 278

By Jess49 - 03/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 419

You deserved it 4 839

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 633

You deserved it 8 640

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 066

You deserved it 5 184

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 128

You deserved it 10 618

Next

Top comments

Thizzkidsgotgame 7

Sunday 30 September 2012 12:18

Sweet.

toelie 26

Sunday 30 September 2012 12:28

There's just no pleasing some women. Be happy his fantasy features you at all.

Comments

Sneekys 2

Monday 1 October 2012 4:17

OMG, i bet you cant guess what im doing now......

peoplepainter 1

Monday 1 October 2012 4:32

Hey, it's still you he's masturbating about. Be happy!

j3ebrules 13

Monday 1 October 2012 6:14

Oooh... Sticky. Flattering maybe... But mostly sticky.

ReflexEight 6

Monday 1 October 2012 7:01

Hey, at least it's about you.

Zacham 5

Monday 1 October 2012 7:29

nothing wrong with that. you should pour pancake syrup on yourself infront of him. if he is masturbating to you after 2 years the dude deserves something. I'd say you have a keeper

Austyn57 1

Monday 1 October 2012 7:36

its normal

BenL97 5

Monday 1 October 2012 7:36

I thought of the candy bar commercial with the swimmers in caramel.

magwich 19

Monday 1 October 2012 13:46

Is he Canadian?

avierg 2

Monday 1 October 2012 13:53

Make his fantasy come true

Rebekkah1993 10

Monday 1 October 2012 16:18

At least he is thinking of you..

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Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 089

You deserved it 3 267

Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying 'thank you' and 'bye' to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, your teeth will look bad like that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 684

You deserved it 4 581

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 161

You deserved it 5 483

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 621

You deserved it 11 060

Today, my mom's response to everything is now screaming. Two year-old brother playing quietly? Screaming. Computer freezes? Screaming. Mailman? Screaming. We tried to get her tested but no doctor can stand her for more than ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 72

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 886

You deserved it 2 907