Awkward, Parents and Animals: No place like home

No place like home

By MrMagicMan000 - 25/08/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air, and thought to myself, "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year-old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 300

You deserved it 4 415

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Same thing different taste

By ahhhhhh - 12/02/2015 17:23 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 637

You deserved it 6 500

By lol smiley face - 28/11/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 812

You deserved it 10 437

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 102

You deserved it 2 484

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 34 567

Dangleberries

By myeyesburn - 28/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 171

By Anon - 10/05/2009 12:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up really early before my mom so I could make pancakes for Mother's Day. I placed everything on a tray and even picked a flower, had a card for her and took it to her bedroom. She said, "You shouldn't have, pancakes are fattening." She took one bite and fed the rest to the dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 293

You deserved it 4 249

By tommy3824 - 20/08/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 573

You deserved it 3 087

By Wally - 08/05/2009 15:20 - Canada

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 350

You deserved it 5 749

By PeepShow - 06/08/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 276

You deserved it 47 094

By TordNorski - 04/05/2016 17:44 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5am, my mom came in and knocked loudly. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 908

You deserved it 1 127

GigglesNpie 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 16:09

dude, thats gross...

danielrp34 7

Tuesday 25 August 2009 16:12

Some people find their grandpa..

Comments

imsleepingbeauty 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:13

Grow up children, its a naked body. Big ******* deal.

AdmanRulz 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:46

I take it that you like seeing your mother naked?

Twincest 11

Wednesday 26 August 2009 9:19

Sooo... did you pick up on her (obvious) offer??

what_thefk 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 10:16

Today's gonna be a great day!! *opens door* OH SHI- LOOL this fml made me laugh so hard

chalads 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 10:50

Thank you for making my day. This made me literally laugh out loud.

My_averageFML 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 14:12

I'm sorry that you had to see that in the early morning. hope your day went well either way.

Amortifiedperson 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 15:10

OH lovely! FYL OP! I would totally be scarred for life and I can imagine you are...

Fett 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 16:07

YDI for thinking a great day includes seeing your mom naked

skigod 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 16:30

OMG!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!! God it must have been bad for you!

AnnieSure 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 18:00

Nasty.

Sock_fml 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 0:40

YDI for living with your mom. Ship that easy sack of crazy off to the geezer freezer.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

The Top

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 413

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 700

The Top

Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1 057

Today, my friend was complaining about how she did not like Mexican food. Confused, I asked her whether she had even had Mexican food, to which she replied, “Yeah, I mean I’ve had Taco Bell.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 145

You deserved it 257

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 839

You deserved it 5 045

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 890

You deserved it 7 386

Today, one of my closest friends is an antivaxxer. Neither I nor my family are guaranteed to survive Covid, even though we are vaccinated, and I just can't understand why she will not get the jab when she knows so many people have died from Covid, while only a handful have died from the vax DUE TO COMPLICATIONS, and now she may hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 869

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 263

You deserved it 38 848

No place like home

Same thing different taste

Dangleberries

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