Kids: No sleep til Brooklyn

No sleep til Brooklyn

By blahblah - 24/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, finally we got our toddler daughter to sleep in her own bed. The wife and I were both excited to finally have our room to ourselves. Just as our daughter was about to fall asleep, the damn cat went into her room and loudly hacked up a huge hairball. Now she's back in mommy's and daddy's bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 313

You deserved it 7 047

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/01/2016 06:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 130

You deserved it 2 166

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 004

You deserved it 2 498

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 962

You deserved it 252 005

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 254

Happy Caturday

By couchsurfer - 10/08/2012 00:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 077

You deserved it 29 959

By Anonymous - 31/07/2016 16:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 133

You deserved it 2 299

Sick

By SickMaMa - 09/12/2014 22:39 - United States - Cortland

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 802

You deserved it 4 062

By xXWhiteSheepXx - 08/04/2016 02:28 - United States - Omaha

Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 757

You deserved it 2 416

Blackmail material

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 05:01

Today, I was staying at a hotel and had a night terror. I woke up, yelled, "Fuck!" and realized I had shit the bed. I'd woken up my teenage daughter, who now knows I shit the bed in the middle night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 200

Who run the world? Cats!

By tease_ftx - 31/08/2017 13:00

Today, as I was laying down to sleep, I grabbed my covers and realized the cat pissed on them and on my body pillow. Now I'm up at 1 a.m. doing laundry so I can have clean bedding and my kids are awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 201

You deserved it 442

traci18 0

Monday 24 May 2010 13:12

you should of put her right back in HER bed & let her there. if you tough it out a few nights she will learn that her bed is where she is SUPPOSED to be. all you are teaching her now is how to manipulate to get her own way.

Jimboom 11

Monday 24 May 2010 13:09

You sure you or your wife is not just using that as an excuse? I mean sometimes one or both parents will overprotect the child and the child picks up on all that. If your nervous and worried about things all the time then the kid will mimic this and think that they too should be like that. Of course the kid could just be a little pussy. Tell her to get back to her bed or you will tell her of all the things out there that she should REALLY be afraid of. :-P

Comments

rasellersjr 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 2:16

hmmm... after several years of detective work and statement analysis, I think there might be more problems then your kid sleeping in your bed. Either that, or it's your wifes idea to let her do it, and your not liking the idea. Saying, "The wife" instead of My wife is subconciously putting distance between you and your wife. Get help...

lonely3mo 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 2:23

stop ******* bickering people! we are all here to read funny stories. this is why humans are turds. they get into arguments about the dumbest things!

tama_tee 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 2:40

cats aré beast ftw is ur problem????

samammynanny 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 4:30

who reffers to their wife as "the wife"?...jackass

brittany5688 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 4:45

I'm not trying to be a smart ass, but trust me. you have to make her sleep alone. my parents never did and it really messed me up. Good Luck! And I'm sorry she ended up in between you guys again :-(