Work, Customers, Awkward and Cancer: Nosferatu

Nosferatu

By Kristache - 02/07/2009 08:31 - Canada

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 296

You deserved it 16 398

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Same thing different taste

By fifthtimesacharm - 26/04/2011 15:03

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 909

You deserved it 5 557

By yawho - 25/02/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 382

You deserved it 9 863

By TooSunnyForSkin - 05/06/2013 04:22 - United States - Huntington

Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 921

You deserved it 4 202

By GlowInTheDark - 09/12/2011 07:41 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 677

You deserved it 3 969

By anonymous - 24/09/2011 15:22 - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 396

You deserved it 4 719

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:20 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 284

You deserved it 3 920

By Anonymous - 22/09/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 762

You deserved it 62 616

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 13/06/2020 08:08

Today, a salesman came to the door and I assumed the guy was peddling solar stuff. Before the poor guy had a chance to say anything, I blurted out, "We don't need any, we only spend $80 on electricity in the summer." He pointed to his shirt and replied, "I'm an exterminator." I then tried to awkwardly apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 1 691

You what now?

By ashley anne - 16/10/2022 04:00

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 150

By lollipopgreen - 01/10/2011 12:33 - United States

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 621

You deserved it 51 710

ForestFire0 1

Thursday 2 July 2009 20:07

Maybe if he talked like a regular person instead of like a vampire

Telcontar14 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 20:13

he actually said mortal enemy? Dude, don't sweat it, if he's talking like that he's just begging for such comments.

Comments

mylifesucksoften 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 21:27

that's what a vampire would say ;-) jk jk, that must have been awkward for you. don't feel bad about it, thuogh. You couldn't have known.

freddie_fml 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 21:27

This one is awesome.

Jennydew 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 21:48

I probably would have asked if he was a vampire too....

comment11111 39

Sunday 20 October 2013 15:58

exactly

AlfonzoRex 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 22:05

Twilight is wrong. Everyone knows that vampires burn. If you want to watch a good vampire show then watch true blood -___-'' I know I'll get a billion thumbs down, but I'm sorry, Twilight just fails.

gueeterman 4

Thursday 2 July 2009 23:24

**** yourself #44, crazy bitch.

Colby_Colbert 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 22:09

hey **** him if he was offended, he started it by saying "the sun is my enemy"

JoshBarblahblah 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 22:27

There are differences in vampire stories-even the canonical vampire stories. Why is it that Twilight isn't allowed to be different as well?

spoonboy 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 22:33

Because the idea of sparkling vampires is just plain stupid.

fuckmahlife 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 22:51

rofl indeed xD

arienh4 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 23:02

Because the idea of vampires goes back into the Middle Ages. Twilight just threw that all away and substituted it's crappy own, filled with teen angst. That's why.

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 2 July 2009 23:25

#52. THE best comment on this whole site. :D

Zekerio 0

Monday 22 November 2010 13:25

Twilight is completely against everything we know about vampires. Twilight < Everyother vampire Sparkle in the sun < Disintegrate in the sun Mostly eat animals < Devour human blood Fall in love with teeangers a quarter of their age < Turn grown women into their brides

aback 4

Thursday 2 July 2009 22:35

Not your fault. He didn't have to be a melodramatic ass about it. Lots of people get skin cancers taken off. Unless he meant melanoma, in which case he was still being an ass.