Nosferatu

By Kristache - 02/07/2009 08:31 - Canada

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 296
You deserved it 16 398
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

ForestFire0 1

Maybe if he talked like a regular person instead of like a vampire

128 3
Telcontar14 0

he actually said mortal enemy? Dude, don't sweat it, if he's talking like that he's just begging for such comments.

69 3

Comments

dight_fml 4

Speaking as somebody in the same boat as the "vampire," I would have chuckled and played along. If he gives you that kind of straight line and can't laugh at it later, that's his fault.

0 0
crashtest1205 0

#5 let me guess your 12 years old and you've watched twilight one too many times..... hahaha OP, FYL you couldn't have known!!!!

0 0
Nightfallz 0

this is a fml how?? he was obviously making light of the situation and you played along. good on ya but this is not a fml

0 0
theflamezbegin 0

I hate it when people forget that Twilight isn't just a franchise, it's an amazing book series that got all ****** up ever since the damn movie came out...

0 6
mehwhateverr 0

Lol, an amazing book series and Twilight should never been in the same sentence unless a negation is in the sentence. Anyway, you sound like a nice, friendly person, OP. FYL.

0 0
Yaz_fml 0

I like vampires pre - twilight when you could stake them with wood or they burst to flames in sunlight. Not like the darn sparkly unkillable things they are nowadays, how where you to know? A genuine mistake in my book!

4 0
Nacirema20 0

i think you've watched Twilight too msny times... but FYL, cuz how were u supposed to know...?

1 1
bipolaradhdfml 0

Why would you watch Twilight once? But yeah, it would have been impossible for you to know that. FYL.

0 0
ohhdamn 0

I only watched twilight once, and read the book once too. Not everybody is a creep. It's okay to like something, but the obsessers are what makes the movie look bad. I understand that she didn't follow the "vampire rules," but without her version funny fmls and stories wouldn't be here(:

0 0
Annibel_lee 0

I never understood why the hell people make such a big deal out of other people dying. It's only nature. Who cares if you were related to them, unless you were insanely close to that person then there's no point to care about somebody with a terminal illness. Call me selfish, but I think it's just mother natures way of saying survival of the fittest. I could really give a **** if somebody has cancer, or aids,etc... It's easier to get along day by day. And I have a life threatening condition myself. I hate sympathy and people feeling sorry. I don't need help. My endicrinologists have it all under control. And twilight is pretty lame... People need to move away from the sparkly vampires that should have their faces blown apart with the little time bombs from the blade trilogy.

1 4
ohhhhshizzz 0

I'm gonna go counsler on you and say mommy and daddy didn't love you so you grew up to hate everyone? I don't care if you CARE about the person, but not even having the heart to notice that the people are in pain? Wow, you are bitch what you on your period? God get over yourself, honestly. And BTW survival of the fittest? Go and try to jump the Grand Canyon on a unicycle, see if you survive that; hope not.

0 0
ohhhhshizzz 0

Oh and people like Twilight because it what they like. I like it but not some obsessed fan, it is something that I can read easily. And you know what maybe I'm not a hardcore vampire lover, most of the people who read it aren't and yeah we know 'vampires' don't sparkle it's a book getting all up in arms for fictional things, that once had people in fear is rather idiotic and once again I tell you to get over yourself. And that's for most people who bash twilight, it's a teen book and film most of you are adults of course you are going to think it's shitty it really isn't made for you.

0 0