Sex and Intimacy: Not a Bio major - FML

Not a Bio major

By Anonymous - 27/06/2011 13:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 122

You deserved it 8 139

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 28/03/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 312

You deserved it 5 468

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 819

You deserved it 9 990

Noob

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 17:08 - Denmark - Randers

Spicy

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 882

You deserved it 6 050

Awww Sweaty, don't worry

By sopheeah - 29/05/2012 07:54 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 541

You deserved it 2 928

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 022

You deserved it 4 100

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 14:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 306

You deserved it 7 343

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:03 - United States - Philadelphia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 139

You deserved it 8 886

By turning red - 27/07/2013 01:14 - United States

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 440

You deserved it 10 311

Strong incel vibes

By anotherdayfml - 04/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told a guy that I was on birth control. He decided that it would be best for us not to continue speaking with each other. I never would've thought taking care of myself would be a deal breaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 207

Sounds more like a fetish…

By Jordan - 08/04/2012 10:37 - Australia - Wahroonga

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 426

You deserved it 3 572

Next

Top comments

velvel 7

Monday 27 June 2011 19:01

well, you definitely don't want babies with that one.

knights95 9

Monday 27 June 2011 19:00

Fail

Comments

androiddestroya 7

Tuesday 28 June 2011 9:24

hehe.....hehehehe...hehehahahahaHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think it's possible to fail more than that xD

thrashdu2002 5

Tuesday 28 June 2011 9:27

is he retarded or a redhead?

bonnie_vb8 5

Tuesday 28 June 2011 9:40

You got yourself one smart cookie:)

taazer 12

Tuesday 28 June 2011 9:56

is he blonde?

lisha88 1

Tuesday 28 June 2011 10:02

lol at least he wants to be safe

Codered814 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 11:52

boyfriend takes birthcontrol.....priceless

shavee 5

Tuesday 28 June 2011 12:59

lol, double condom reminded me of an old joke, "for extra protection, use double condom with red chilli between the two, if inner breaks u would know, if outer breaks, she would know" ouch!!! :)

samatoulai 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 14:54

cutw

cheerbaby05 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 15:38

hahahahahaha at least he wants to be safe haaha;)

ItzKymra 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 16:21

Well at least your extra careful! (:

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Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

The Top

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 651

Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 228

You deserved it 4 234

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 237

You deserved it 62 634

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 619

You deserved it 2 847

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 795

You deserved it 3 226

Today, I found out my reward for topping three of the four employee performance charts was a paycut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 099

You deserved it 2 198