Sex and Intimacy: Not a Bio major - FML

Not a Bio major

By Anonymous - 27/06/2011 13:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 121

You deserved it 8 139

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 28/03/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 312

You deserved it 5 468

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 819

You deserved it 9 990

Noob

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 17:08 - Denmark - Randers

Spicy

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 882

You deserved it 6 050

Awww Sweaty, don't worry

By sopheeah - 29/05/2012 07:54 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 541

You deserved it 2 928

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 022

You deserved it 4 100

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 14:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 306

You deserved it 7 343

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:03 - United States - Philadelphia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 139

You deserved it 8 886

By turning red - 27/07/2013 01:14 - United States

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 440

You deserved it 10 311

Strong incel vibes

By anotherdayfml - 04/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told a guy that I was on birth control. He decided that it would be best for us not to continue speaking with each other. I never would've thought taking care of myself would be a deal breaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 207

Sounds more like a fetish…

By Jordan - 08/04/2012 10:37 - Australia - Wahroonga

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 426

You deserved it 3 572

Next

Top comments

velvel 7

Monday 27 June 2011 19:01

well, you definitely don't want babies with that one.

knights95 9

Monday 27 June 2011 19:00

Fail

Comments

DReamBig24 0

Monday 27 June 2011 21:14

HAHHHAHAHAHAH. I actually think that's a bit adorable. he probably just isn't educated.... perhaps you should talk to him, because those could have some side effects....

ohlordy101 0

Monday 27 June 2011 21:17

you definitely won't have kids now, the estrogen will drop his sperm count probably

thatviolinplayer 0

Monday 27 June 2011 21:19

well...okay then...

NightTenshi 0

Monday 27 June 2011 21:21

please teach him of the amazing world of condoms

ChelseaWelsea 0

Monday 27 June 2011 21:23

Thats the funniest thing i've ever heard

SexyQueen0905 24

Monday 27 June 2011 21:26

Hey, the gesture is sweet even though your boyfriend is a total moron. FYL

elchueco007 0

Monday 27 June 2011 21:32

hahahahahahahah

terrask 11

Monday 27 June 2011 21:32

Wow. Lower sperm count, shrinking testes, erectile dysfunction, osteoporosis, muscle reduction, reduced hair growth, fat storage displacement, gynecomastia and so on and so forth. You know, your boyfriend is in the first step of a sex change... You'll notice when he needs a small bra.

msalyssa 0

Monday 27 June 2011 21:34

hahaha smooth..

FriscoKidz 10

Monday 27 June 2011 21:36

Please keep taking your birth control. He must not be aloud to procreate! We need less dipshits in the world..

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

The Top

Today, I got fired as a waiter because I refused to serve alcohol to a pregnant woman and she reported me. Turns out she's not pregnant, she's just a fat Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 974

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of 2 years. I'd been involved in an accident that severely hurt my right leg. As a result, I couldn't work out and gained 35 pounds, also due to stress eating and some meds I’m taking. Apparently I’m no longer attractive and he can’t have people thinking he’s a “chubby chaser.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 151

Today, I've recently been able to enjoy my life after a long depressing quarantine. I've been able to go to the gym and train in my favorite activity, boxing. Now I can't train for 2 weeks after having surgery on both my Achilles heel and PRP therapy. Hello again, misery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 212

Today, our son finally received his autism diagnosis. We sat our daughters down to explain and they both started celebrating, because they thought he was going to a facility and never come back. When I told them he was staying with us, our youngest actually started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 242

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 168

You deserved it 3 732

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 742

You deserved it 3 762