Intimacy: Not now - FML

Not now

By sexysue - 07/11/2009 22:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was mine and my husband's anniversary. He was at work so I decided to dress up "sexy." You know, the typical lacey thong and fishnets. I heard the door open, and what I thought was him was actually my brother, who'd come by to wish me a happy anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 102

You deserved it 5 766

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Same thing different taste

By Ciabatta - 20/11/2008 11:10 - France

Spicy

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 361

You deserved it 3 450

By Meggie - 05/11/2009 05:06 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 225

You deserved it 2 201

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 246

You deserved it 7 781

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Spicy

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 3 573

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 355

You deserved it 6 228

By SayCheese - 02/04/2013 22:52 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 022

You deserved it 72 302

By jane smith - 01/07/2010 12:11 - Australia

Spicy

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 591

You deserved it 18 055

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 657

You deserved it 2 749

Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 216

By Bree - 23/09/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, it's my wedding anniversary. I decided to come home early to surprise my husband, but I was the one left surprised. I walked in on him in bed with a teenager. I'm six months pregnant with our second child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 218

You deserved it 326

Next

Top comments

gollygoshers 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:04

I think it's better to wear something revealing under something that COVERS IT UP. that's just common sense, which I greatly lack.

Drakon_fml 7

Sunday 8 November 2009 4:21

Coulda been worse. Coulda been your husband wearing the same things. How awkward!!

Comments

asleepingbear 8

Thursday 29 March 2012 5:26

At least your brother cared to say happy anniversary

xXNerrrdXx 16

Monday 27 May 2013 23:35

and y does your brother have keys? if he lives with you Then why would you wander around in that ?!

Ashlei69 4

Friday 13 September 2013 17:45

ohhh ewe ******* gross

MissKangaroo 23

Saturday 7 February 2015 6:37

My husband and I*

DalekWarrior26 9

Friday 10 April 2015 17:46

My husband and I

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 865

You deserved it 5 424

Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 6 630

The Top

Today, I finally figured out why my 5 year-old daughter washes her hair every day. It's because she doesn't want to have "yucky greasy hair like her mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 961

You deserved it 47 370

Today, I burped and sneezed during a job interview, I don’t think they were impressed by my talents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 250

Today, I got a text from a female friend saying, "So bored, come over, let's fuck.” Knowing her sense of humor, I laughed it off and sarcastically replied, "On my way!” About an hour later, I got a message from her husband asking what was taking me so long. They really wanted a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 518

Today, I started a new job. As I was introducing myself during the morning get together with the team, I forgot how old I was, and panicked. I ended up saying I was "twenty-fine." I’m 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 304

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 932

You deserved it 8 384