Intimacy: Not now!

Not now!

By Victim - 27/06/2009 13:47 - United States

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 451

You deserved it 10 091

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Same thing different taste

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 150

You deserved it 6 231

Baywatch

By Jenn - 16/12/2016 00:50

Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 234

You deserved it 841

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

By "mbrider" - 12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 898

You deserved it 269

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 05:00 - Australia - Darlinghurst

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 086

You deserved it 5 105

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 18:43 - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 366

You deserved it 2 177

Looking cool

By Anonymous - 18/05/2014 04:48 - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 866

You deserved it 6 084

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 695

You deserved it 12 514

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 55 376

By mytoehurts - 26/06/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 425

You deserved it 2 883

shotgunner2 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 19:16

hahaha i hope the people tying you down were chicks in bikinis

seb12992 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 19:16

Ouch. Were you being strapped down by a group of hot girls?

Comments

DncrHap 9

Saturday 27 June 2009 21:05

@41 - And even if he were gay, why exactly is that problem or creepy?

humorizer 14

Saturday 27 June 2009 21:38

lol. another supporter of homosexuality. What has the world come to? Next thing I know, nudism will be legislated into an acceptable sin.

ZombieKnickers_fml 8

Saturday 27 June 2009 22:12

are you kidding? Its hard to tell over the internet sometimes. (at 53)

beethoven_fml 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 1:12

I love gays

ms31_fml 3

Saturday 27 June 2009 21:10

He is probably a teenager. Hormones are going crazy at that age so usually you will get a boner for absolutely no reason at all. Not always at the best times :p

adidaskitten99 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 21:11

I was present during a similar incident back when I was in high school and helping train the rookies for the summer. A 15 year old kid (I was 17 or 18 at the time) was practicing his CPR on me and too embarrassed to actually put his hands where they belong for compression--I was a 7 day a week soccer player at the time, but had a good rack--and the other supervisors had to keep correcting him that it was okay to put his hands there if you were trying to save a life. When we switched spots and he was the 'dummy,' I sighted down his chest to look for the rise and fall during rescue breathing and straight down my line of sight was his flag pole waving proudly in the wind. I already felt sorry for him, but then the two guy supervisors who were standing with us started laughing hysterically and I REALLY felt bad.

dasauto 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 21:19

That would suck, but at least it happened when a chick with a nice rack was doing CPR on him, and not a guy.

dinjin201 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 22:16

Yeah. I guess you girls have it a little easier than us with these boner situations. Although i have to say, for a guy like me that actually respects girls, it would be slightlu awkward to put my hands on the rack of a complete stranger... Though i would definetly be willing to save a life - i volunteer at the ER anyways... :)

tutupr 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 21:26

that really sucks!!

saailaway 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 21:29

lol wow im usually quick to get jokes an shit. but i was like...wtf wood? in ur swim suit? where did the wood come from? hahah i get it nowwwww ;)

xHaniffax 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 21:39

PAHAHAHAHAHAH shayum

cbella 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 21:50

no worries :) I'm a girl and if I was there I wouldn't think bad of you at all! It can happen whenever and I hope that most mature girls (if there were girls in your class.... hope so but whatever floats your boat I guess..) would just kinda brush it off..... I wouldn't care at all.... kinda hot actually ;)

plexico 3

Saturday 27 June 2009 23:22

So, you're saying that if a guy gets wood, you'd "brush it off?" We'd like that!

beethoven_fml 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 1:14

i dunno if you would think it was hot if he was ugly

qtherevolution 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 21:56

It could have been worse. My instructor (for my lifeguarding course) was apparently strapped down and then forgotten. He was left to sink to the bottom of the pool. *wince* Of course, he survived, because I heard the story from him, but still. I would definitely never get into a pool again after that.