Intimacy: Observation - FML

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 752

You deserved it 8 003

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By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 655

You deserved it 9 534

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 838

You deserved it 8 748

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Spicy

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 733

You deserved it 25 776

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 139

You deserved it 63 337

By anonymous - 04/11/2014 12:03 - Canada - North Vancouver

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 243

You deserved it 8 494

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 23:02 - United States - Rocky Point

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 963

You deserved it 5 657

By TooShortToCleanThat - 20/03/2015 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 459

You deserved it 3 752

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 07:45

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 898

You deserved it 1 238

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 881

You deserved it 20 680

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 306

You deserved it 2 763

Next

Top comments

AWESOM_E 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:03

I wonder what he expected to see instead...?

hidude12 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:03

woah anatomy... did he skip out on 4th grade health?

Comments

Get_Naykid 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 5:06

YDI for not being abstinent till marriage.

catlin12 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 5:30

lmao....wow thats all..just wow

kellster 2

Saturday 18 April 2009 5:35

Oh, America. So much ignorance.

jaybirdka 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 5:48

What a douche.

Fed_in_the_A 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 6:48

Why did 1467 people say she deserved that one?? What the **** people, WHAT, THE, ****! Sometimes im ashamed to be apart of the human race, ******* assholes.

sarahlynn2786 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 6:49

wow... thats all i have to say.

Vtlacey 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 6:54

#8-haha! i bet that was awkward. how old is this dude?????

SarahBabyCakes05 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 7:28

either your boyfriend is 10 or he is just really really really immature. either way, time for a new boyfriend hahhaaha. wow #145, that's messed up.

fmlbaby_fml 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 7:49

"Today, I read an FML post by some girl complaining about her immature boyfriend going down on her. It only reminded me that I'm not getting any. FML"

fmlbaby_fml 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 7:50

hahaha! #149, I couldn't agree more. Its like they were thinking "YDI for having a pee-hole" Morons!

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 182

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 628

You deserved it 51 993

The Top

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 124

You deserved it 66 193

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 249

You deserved it 5 867

Today, as a male in his 40s, I went to "mixed" aerobics. I arrived late to find the entire female class had started intensely warming up. Within 5 minutes I pulled a calf muscle and left limping pathetically past a martial arts class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 518

You deserved it 634

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 089

You deserved it 3 267

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 660

You deserved it 5 353

Today, I planned a busy day of errands: cycle 16 km, pick up a thing I bought online, go to the gas station, pharmacy and 3 different shops. I’m totally exhausted now. Maybe tomorrow I’ll find the energy to actually do all those things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 362