Relatable, Awkward, Wanker and Intimacy: Oh, hai Mark!

Oh, hai Mark!

By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 390

You deserved it 1 831

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Same thing different taste

By scarredforlife - 16/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 494

You deserved it 5 039

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 3 020

By grossedout - 01/02/2015 23:10 - United States - Newport News

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 285

You deserved it 2 751

By yepintheladiesroom - 07/06/2014 21:37 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 746

You deserved it 5 640

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 633

You deserved it 4 373

By minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 341

You deserved it 2 405

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 71

By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 333

You deserved it 2 251

Caught

By Anonymous - 14/10/2011 16:30 - Reserved

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 605

You deserved it 3 407

Nice day for it

By peachykeen - 15/02/2016 01:05 - United States - Savannah

Today, the most action I had on Valentine's day was a homeless guy pulling his dick out at me as I walked home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 062

You deserved it 1 931

NakuEh 27

Friday 12 February 2016 18:19

Ever wish those memory wipers from Men in Black really existed?

kowsee 22

Friday 12 February 2016 18:15

Brain bleach... Now

Comments

tomvertigo 17

Friday 12 February 2016 21:02

As in bumped into while walking or stumbled across?

gobiteme2 34

Friday 12 February 2016 21:21

That's what he was doing alright.

nomoreparty 11

Friday 12 February 2016 22:11

Its an FML for homeless guy if he couldn't finish..

Fester306 2

Friday 12 February 2016 22:52

He gets off on the stares

PoLLynomchik 11

Friday 12 February 2016 23:14

Been there, I almost threw up when I saw that. Luckily I forgot to wear my glasses that day, but I still wish I could unsee it

Montiphelia 16

Friday 12 February 2016 23:14

Atleast there wasn't a spider monkey giving him a reach around

oscara 5

Friday 12 February 2016 23:53

It was one of those memorable moments when I was caught masturbating in a stairwell of a car garage

RJ4712 11

Saturday 13 February 2016 0:01

Bleach. No more words.

genshift 8

Saturday 13 February 2016 0:08

He was just happy to see you.

Dexter83_fml 17

Saturday 13 February 2016 0:09

He's probably gone into an Internet cafe and put an fml up about someone walking in on him

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 118

You deserved it 3 775

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, I was teasing my son about all the newlywed sex he must be having. He turned bright red and ended up admitting that because they stayed virgins until marriage they were too nervous to try on the wedding night, or on the honeymoon, or anytime since then. The wedding was 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 447

Today, my wife and kids all yelled at me because I was stood at the bookshelf looking for a book, blocking the Wifi router with my body, and their signals all dropped to almost zero, and had stopped them watching videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 158

Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 035

You deserved it 5 947

Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation daily in an effort to get pregnant. My husband has only had one task during the entire process, and after hours of gaming, he says he's just too tired to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 635

You deserved it 1 932

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 110

You deserved it 3 249

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 575

You deserved it 2 107