Relatable, Awkward, Wanker and Intimacy: Oh, hai Mark!

Oh, hai Mark!

By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 390

You deserved it 1 831

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Same thing different taste

By scarredforlife - 16/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 494

You deserved it 5 039

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 3 020

By grossedout - 01/02/2015 23:10 - United States - Newport News

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 285

You deserved it 2 751

By yepintheladiesroom - 07/06/2014 21:37 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 746

You deserved it 5 640

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 633

You deserved it 4 373

By minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 341

You deserved it 2 405

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 71

By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 333

You deserved it 2 251

Caught

By Anonymous - 14/10/2011 16:30 - Reserved

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 605

You deserved it 3 407

Nice day for it

By peachykeen - 15/02/2016 01:05 - United States - Savannah

Today, the most action I had on Valentine's day was a homeless guy pulling his dick out at me as I walked home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 062

You deserved it 1 931

NakuEh 27

Friday 12 February 2016 18:19

Ever wish those memory wipers from Men in Black really existed?

kowsee 22

Friday 12 February 2016 18:15

Brain bleach... Now

Comments

StickyPickles 33

Saturday 13 February 2016 3:02

I wonder if he was using his free hand to ask for change. . .

JZY1989 23

Saturday 13 February 2016 13:48

things you can never unsee

mattrd_fml 31

Saturday 13 February 2016 17:06

i guess all men do it. even homeless men.

UncleAdolf 6

Saturday 13 February 2016 18:16

I will be there soon to gas the stairwell of his putrid presence.

citrusglass 22

Wednesday 24 February 2016 22:46

I don't understand how YDI is even an option for this. "How could you walk into that poor homeless man like that?! Gosh, OP, how rude!"

Sansational_ 18

Sunday 28 February 2016 18:48

I love how this is in the "Intimacy" category.

Blissment 12

Monday 29 February 2016 5:09

What if he needed a hand?

fluffycatsdad 33

Sunday 20 March 2016 5:57

Absolutely positively Wellington!

chicagossirish 7

Monday 30 May 2016 23:18

did you make a wish

sexy_butter 3

Tuesday 7 June 2016 14:04

Well, the poor guy doesn't have a bathroom. Where else is he supposed to do it?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

The Top

Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She referred to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergency bedrest by my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 853

You deserved it 4 890

Today, I had a lovely day, right up until the moment I got home, went to change my pad, and realised that sometime in the last two hours, somewhere between the library and this moment, my pad had somehow… fallen out. So somewhere out there my bloody pad is… just there. What if someone saw? FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 112

Today, I invited my Peruvian girlfriend to my parent’s house for dinner. They decorated the house with Mexican flag and Fiesta lanyards, and bought Taco Bell. My girlfriend is vegetarian and had to explain to them that no, Peru is not a city in Mexico. It’s been 3 hours and she won’t pick up her calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 225

Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 143

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 5 732

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 895

You deserved it 2 956