Miscellaneous: Oh, hello there

Oh, hello there

By Jon - 18/01/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 724

You deserved it 8 875

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Same thing different taste

By Oops - 11/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 772

You deserved it 939

By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 02:45 - Sri Lanka

Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 365

You deserved it 3 363

By assante2010 - 24/07/2011 00:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 357

You deserved it 6 885

Surprise!

By dieold - 28/01/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriend's house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles, I slipped my hand into her sister's back pocket and squeezed her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out, and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 876

You deserved it 34 529

By reginaphalange - 27/05/2010 14:06 - Australia

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 834

You deserved it 3 333

Work name

By Van - 09/11/2019 05:00

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 920

You deserved it 469

By aishahahaha_ - 19/06/2016 00:34 - Zambia - Lusaka

Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 805

You deserved it 765

What a thoughtful gift

By Natsert99 - 08/12/2016 14:02 - United States - Deerfield

Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 128

You deserved it 1 252

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 14:13 - United States

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "What birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 384

You deserved it 31 229

By Anonymous - 11/12/2013 08:25 - United States

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 525

You deserved it 3 842

redshortsx 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:06

oh wow your sister was the stripper at your birthday. that's ******* gross

Pankreas 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:07

Uhm, of course this makes sense. He hired a stripper to jump out of a cake, and the stripper in the cake was his sister. Ouch.

Comments

ILoveDaWorld 5

Thursday 16 June 2011 18:08

oh god that would suck but it's pretty funny

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:20

Hehe akward

Volke 4

Friday 19 August 2011 5:42

That would be so akward.

jen_girl_2 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 8:38

Holy crap dude....

JipvS 15

Saturday 19 November 2011 17:28

Hahahahahahaha AWKWARD

MohawkMagik666 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 1:23

It makes perfect sense. You guys are just ******* stupid.

CynicalDepressio 6

Thursday 5 January 2012 7:33

X) dude, that sucks so hard

b_rad_fml 4

Thursday 2 February 2012 8:16

Nice! Did you get video?

bogmire 6

Wednesday 8 February 2012 4:35

Just put a bag over her head an stick another girls face on it. Works like a charm

guyfawke 5

Wednesday 21 March 2012 6:01

wail (win/fail)

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 57

The Top

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 974

You deserved it 6 691

Today, I had a concert. At the end, my conductor was recognizing soloists. When he pointed at me, I was confused, but stood up anyway. It turns out he was pointing at the person behind me. I had to awkwardly sit back down in front of over 500 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 869

You deserved it 6 048

Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 228

You deserved it 1 086

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 966

You deserved it 823

Today, I finally got the courage to go up and ask out the girl I have loved for a couple of months now. After she said yes, I was over the moon and ran home to tell my roommate. The next day, I saw her making out with another man. When I confronted her, she said "Oh, you were serious yesterday?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 105

You deserved it 4 249

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 811

You deserved it 13 390