Miscellaneous: Oh no…

Oh no…

By x.x - 06/07/2014 05:09 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 403

You deserved it 5 767

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 196

You deserved it 8 972

By abc123 - 16/12/2013 16:44 - United States - Marysville

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 534

You deserved it 6 897

By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 423

You deserved it 11 385

By SpideyFace - 19/03/2011 01:36 - Canada

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 918

You deserved it 5 873

By NoBasement4U - 26/11/2015 20:24 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, my dad went to a hardware store to replace the broken shower head in my bathroom. He got the cheapest shower head he could find, and so when I took a shower, the shower head burst out and hit me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 427

You deserved it 2 133

By twoheadedboy - 06/05/2009 20:46 - Canada

Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 565

You deserved it 5 015

By antiqued - 20/12/2012 05:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 093

You deserved it 3 099

By Steve - 24/02/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 678

You deserved it 36 219

By teflon_hammer - 25/05/2016 23:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 921

You deserved it 1 205

By socreepedouticanteven - 27/10/2014 00:05 - United States - Procious

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 508

You deserved it 6 168

itwasthedognotme 14

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:31

That image probably burnt your eyes more than the soap...

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:34

I think we have a winner for next weeks ILLUSTRATED FML.

Comments

ErinPinelli 24

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:33

Were they moist?

JBChristian 47

Monday 7 July 2014 4:27

Wouldn't want to know if they were.

tucansamTommyG 12

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:33

Das nasty

charcharthunder 18

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:33

aw grose, I feel for ya :(

llamarrama01 21

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:34

Reminds me of a Drake and Josh episode.

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:34

I think we have a winner for next weeks ILLUSTRATED FML.

Jghaugland 6

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:19

Depends on whether or not OP was a guy or girl. FML= no illustrated boobs.

MzZombicidal 36

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:22

#41, OP is a female and can be easily illustrated without showing anything too risque.

Starponer 7

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:36

what does OP mean

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:41

OP = Original Poster = The person who wrote the FML

Nymeria_fml 25

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:57

41 - I think the Dora the Explorer illustration begs to differ.

Sophie_fml 29

Sunday 6 July 2014 21:57

Here you go! http://www.fmylife.com/love/20550446

homesuckfucker 28

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:35

Well, you were already in the shower. That problem could be solved with a quick facial cleansing. And your eyes aren't burning anymore.

Aquaman911 18

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:53

He wanted to have a good story to tell us

FilbertMoo 11

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:35

Soapy eyes might be better than underwear eyes. FYL.

scottyspot 11

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:35

I bet that pissed you off.

red225 14

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:36

I'd rather have soap burn my eyes than to have used underwear singe my eyes instead

DisabledSkeleton 8

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:36

Hey at least there wasn't shit in it... or was there.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 42 710

The Top

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up in her clothes, with a wig and makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 259

You deserved it 5 563

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 6 114

Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 626

You deserved it 158 133

Today, as I was trying to impress my girlfriend of three months, I showed her the real diamond ring I'd got for my ex. She got an attitude for our whole three-hour car ride home because I'd brought up my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 1 464

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks's odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 931

You deserved it 4 163

Today, my 8 year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number keypad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 961

You deserved it 9 830

Oh no…

Same thing different taste

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