Money, Plumbing and Work: Oh wow, thanks!

Oh wow, thanks!

By toast - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to leave, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said, "Have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 392

You deserved it 6 391

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 4 697

Broke boyz

By ohno - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 750

You deserved it 5 570

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 670

You deserved it 9 995

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 983

You deserved it 46 606

Running late

By SMV - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 252

You deserved it 6 097

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 2 301

This is mine now

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 229

You deserved it 6 803

People of Walmart

By drano - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work as a cashier, a guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said, "Oh shit, I forgot my wallet!" and walked off. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 509

You deserved it 3 384

Brain fog

By FlyingCoffeeMonster - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 062

You deserved it 3 219

jarofarts 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 23:16

lol who DOES that?

notsodelighted 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 23:19

ahahah, that's HILARIOUS!!

Comments

Mattyknows 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 6:54

What a douche

El_Oh_El 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 7:00

Lawl. Next time, check what's in your pocket early.

secretish 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 8:06

Well your misfortune made me laugh!

nodbor 11

Thursday 26 March 2009 8:08

i'd be t'd off too.

AntiChrist7 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 9:25

never do something for free by rich people. YDI

0 3

Thursday 26 March 2009 10:39

Okay now that this old joke is on the site NO ONE ELSE can post it. Eventually we will run through every old joke and be done with it.

maddog_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 11:01

Haha LOL @#52 that would be nasty. I agree with #97 : those greedy MFs!!

Saralaise 3

Thursday 26 March 2009 13:18

ahahah this was great. first laugh of the day.

Jem0_0 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 13:26

Hahahaha double entendres

Graham1 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 13:50

HAHAHAHA that was brilliant, hardly FML material......but funny none the less. much lulz

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Parents Kids Awkward Animals Dogs Relatable Thanksgiving Thief Love Money Birthday Argument Health Family Politics Frustration Intimacy Sex Parenting Allergies Work Miscellaneous AITA First Dates Road rage Cute Alcohol

The Top

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 14 100

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 825

You deserved it 4 306

The Top

Today, the whole upstairs was so cold that I had to wear mittens inside. When I asked my parents why it was so cold, they replied that to save money, they had decided not to heat the upstairs, since "nobody is ever up there, anyway." My bedroom is upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 187

Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 807

You deserved it 23 233

Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 314

Today, after my parents treating love like a war, always trying to score some sort of victory over each other, while me and my wife never argued a day in our lives, I’m the one staring down the barrel of divorce, while my parents have been happily married for over 50 years. I just don’t understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 397

Today, I saw a missed call on my phone. Thinking it was one of the multiple jobs I applied for, I called back. Turns out it was just a debt collector. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 871

You deserved it 2 564

Today, I was at a local restaurant. When I went to pay my bill, one of the owners jokingly said, "Are you here to apply for a job?" Since I've been unemployed for a while and trying to find work, I said, "What would you like me to do?" She replied, "That was a rhetorical question." I knew it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 96